TWILIGHT: Chapter 11-Complications

CHAPTER SUMMARY: More boring conversation between Bella and Edward and oh look, Billy Black shows up at the end.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
Once again, Bella assumes everyone has no lives and are completely engrossed in her and Edward as they walk into class. Then oh look, it's a movie day and we get this sentence:

A movie day-the lift in the class was almost tangible.
From Twilight, page 218

First, that hyphan is once more used wrong. It should probably be either a period, which ends the sentence, or it could be a semi-colan. Either way, it should not be a hyphan. I'm getting mighty tired of her abusing these things. Second, looking at my trusty Webster, I looked up the definitions for tangible. 1) Reality made discernable by touch, 2) Existing in reality; concrete.
So...the lift in the mood was concrete or made touchable? That makes no sense so I'm calling a wrong word use on Meyer. She should have just said the mood became uplifted or something or something instead of trying to show off her "creative" use of words. By "creative" I mean bad use of words.
The movie begins and suddenly we get a pointless scene with Edward and Bella being all tense for no real reason that I can see. I don't get the signifigance of this at all. This whole thing could have been skipped. Actually, this whole chapter could have easily been about two to three pages tacked on to the next chapter. At least then the title would have made some sort of sense.
Anyway, we get to see Bella go to gym after and Mike expresses concern over Edward and Bella and I frankly do not blame him for doing so. But of course, Bella takes issue with it and pretty much ignores whatever he says. Even has the nerve to call it an arguement when she sees Edward again. Now, here is what happened:

"So," he said as we walked off the court.
"So what?"
"You and Cullen, huh?" he asked, his tone rebellious. My previous feeling
of affection disappeared.
"That's none of your business, Mike," I warned, internally cursing Jessica
straight to the fiery pits of Hades.
"I don't like it," he muttered anyway.
"You don't have to," I snapped.
"He looks at you like...like you're something to eat," he continued,
ignoring me.
I choked back the hysteria that threatened to explode, but a small giggle
managed to get out despite my efforts. He glowered at me. I waved and fled to
the locker room.
From Twilight, page 221

First, edits: there should be a comma after he said in the first sentence. Second, that was not an arguement Bella. That was Mike expressing concern like a good friend (although admittedly jealousy probably had something to do with it) and you pretty much ignoring him and blowing him off and generally being a bitch. There was no need to get mad at Jessica, of all people. She had nothing to do with Mike bringing this up. Or are you mad at her because she's not attractive enough to keep Mike's attention off of you or something? Considering your self-centered behavior, that wouldn't suprise me. Either way, you're being a bitch.
Edward is likewise being a jerk when he expresses annoyance at Mike, never mind that in last chapter and for the previous part of the book he's been saying that he and Bella are a bad idea. Bella proceeds to get upset when she learns that Edward spied on her in gym through people's mind and frankly I don't know why she's so shocked. I'm also cannot believe this is what she gets upset over. Not the sneaking into her room to watch her sleep part, no. Him spying her in gym and seeing her be clumsy is the part that upsets her. She's also not even upset at the blatant invasion of privacy; she's upset that he saw her be clumsy! There are so many things wrong with this I don't know where to begin, but I'll let it go because the rant will be too long.
We get more boring talk between Edward and Bella that is basically a continuation of the conversation from last chapter. Because you know that was so riveting. Edward drives her home (notice how all of a sudden, Bella never uses her car now that she has Edward to drive her?) and there's an awkward talk between Bella and Charlie about the dance where she basically lies to him again. For a girl that doesn't like to lie, she does it an awful lot.
Cut to next morning and Edward is there (driving her again, truck sure isn't getting much use is it?) and he then proceeds to ask her his burning questions. His first? Her favorite color. Please. Bella says her favorite color changes every day which basically means Meyer couldn't be bothered to think up a color, that would require thought for character, and so went the lazy route. This is her bogus explanation of Bella's wardrobe:

"What's your favorite color?" he asked, his face grave.
I rolled my eyes. "It changes from day to day."
"What's your favorite color today?" He was still solemn.
"Probably brown." I tended to dress according to my mood.
From Twilight, page 228

Excuse me, what? She's never given any indication of this before in the book and also it is never shown later. Plus, her mood never changes so how can she dress according to it? This brings me to reason eleven for disliking this series.
REASON ELEVEN FOR DISLIKING TWILIGHT: Too much telling and not enough showing. What she does show, tends to contridict what is told.
Meyer has a habit of making her characters tell us things. We are expected to buy that Bella is plain. Yet later we're told she's beautiful. We're told Edward is perfect (actually it's pretty much beaten into our heads), yet from what I see he's anything but. Then there are the things like Bella apparently doesn't know much about cars but she tells models of cars and notes their price range and stuff like that. There isn't anything necessarily BAD about telling people things but at least back up what you tell people. If we're supposed to believe that Bella is this plain jane girl, don't have five boys fall at her feet. If we're supposed to believe Edward is perfect, don't drill it into our heads; show it in his actions. But no, Meyer seems to think that just saying it in this book makes it true. That's called sloppy and lazy writing.
More questions proceed throughout the details of Bella's day and we get even more corny when Edward asks her favorite gemstone and she says topaz because it's the color of his eyes. Gag me, first of all. Second of all, there is no such thing as topaz colored eyes because topaz's are an orange/gold tinted stone. If it was a vampire thing then okay, but none of the Cullens are described as having gold eyes and other vampires have red eyes so apparently Edward had gold eyes when he was human. Which anyone can tell you is impossible without use of colored contact lens. Meyer would realize this if she a) thought about it and b) did some damn research on gemstones and possible human eye colors. Now possibly, this was Meyer's creative way of saying Edward had light brown eyes, in which case she should have said so. But I don't think that's the case.
More pages are wasted on classes and Edwards "burning" questions. He even asks Bella about Phoenix and I have to laugh at Meyer trying to make the city sound beautiful. Okay, nothing against Phoenix, I'm sure there are parts that are beautiful. But it's still a city which can be loud, crowded, and crime up the wazoo. Also, I was under the impression weather in Arizona could get ridiculously hot and the air can get very dry and there is a lot of worry about droughts. Or am I thinking of some place else? I've never been so I could be wrong. But I'm supposed to believe this is more beautiful then a deep woodland forest town? Are you kidding me? I'm sure there's great architecture and I know Arizona has beautiful deserts, but those deserts aren't in Phoenix from what I understand. Also, has Meyer smelled creosote? To discribe that smell as "pleasant" is utterly ridiculous and obvious that she's never smelled it before in her life. I'm also wondering where Bella has smelled it because I doubt the smell blankets the whole city and suburbs. Unless she lived near a coal burning warehouse or something, she wouldn't smell it.
Anyway, the conversation stops and then we finally get the explanation for the title of this book and I have to say that like everything else in this book, it makes little to no sense. It is not significant to the book in any way, or even significant to Edward and Bella's relationship. After more boring talk, we finally get the explanation for the title of this chapter: Billy Black shows up and he knows about Edward and doesn't approve. That is one complication, not multiple ones. So technically this should be called complication or better yet, questions because that is basically all that goes on in the chapter.

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER USE/WORDS USED WRONG/WORDS THAT DON'T BELONG: tangible (used wrong), palpitations
BOOK THAT IS BETTER: The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor
WHY IT'S BETTER: A fresh take on Alice in Wonderland that is exciting with great characters. This actually kept me interested in it from beginning to end.

TWILIGHT: Chapter 10-Interregations

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Pointless conversations between Bella and Edward, Bella and Jessica, and then back to Bella and Edward. Where is the suspense in this book again?

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We open to Bella once more asking if what happened with Edward was a dream. Does someone need to explain reality to this girl? I get it, Edward is dreamy, you don't have to hit us over the head with the concept Meyer. I also have to snort at this bit because it says what I've been saying about this book since the first few chapters:

Logic wasn't on my side, or common sense.
From Twilight, page 196

I wholeheartedly agree with you Bella because there is very little logic and common sense in this book.
We get more useless description of Bella's daily activities (she had a granola bar for breakfast if you're dying to know) and oh look, Edward shows up to drive her to school. We get this as she sees him:

My heart thudded, stuttered, and then picked up again in double time.
From Twilight, page 197

So her heart thumped loudly, thumped loudly, and then thumped loudly again? Because that is basically all that is being described here. So many words used to describe one teeny tiny action. Can we say pointless? If you're going to use wordy description, at least use it to describe scenery or something, not for 'my heart rate increased'.
Then we get more flowery descriptions of Edward because you know, we need to be told once more that he is hot and perfect. Just in case we didn't get it the first million times Bella told us. Bella asks where the rest of the Cullens are and he says they took Roselie's car. Apparently Meyer is even going to stereotype cars now, because Roselie's flashy convertable is deemed ostentatious. Then we get Edward saying he and his family try to blend in. Yeah. Another instance where I agree with Bella, they DON'T succeed. Not because of the flashy cars. Lots of humans have flashy cars and flashy cars do not automatically equal vampire. But they drive one hundred miles per hour, don't deem themselves to talk to the locals, and pretty much do things that hold them apart from the rest of the town. Doesn't really scream 'trying to blend in' to me.
Anyway, they get to school where Jessica is waiting to pounce on Bella. This is of course very annoying to her.
WHINE: My friend actually wants to ask me questions! Why must she bother me?
Yes, poor Bella, she has curious friends who are interested in her life. Such a nuisance, no? I also love how once again Bella assumes people are staring at her and Edward. Could this girl be any more vain? People have lives beyond you and Edward, Bella, chances are they don't care. We get more reports about Bella's daily life. As well as a weather update because you know, we need to know the weather didn't change. Then Jessica is waiting for her in Trig:

Jessica was sitting in the back row, nearly bounching off her seat in
agitation.
From Twilight, page 202

For fun here's a definition of agitation (or agitate in this case) from Webster: 1) To move with sudden force or violence, 2) To upset emotionally, and 3) To try and stir up public interest in a cause. Jessica is clearly doing none of these things so why is the word agitation even here? Anxiousness or excitement would have been better words here. This brings me to the tenth reason of why I dislike Twilight.
REASON TEN FOR DISLIKING TWILIGHT: Too many theosaurus words and often they are used wrongly such as in this case. I have no problem with authors who try to be creative in their wording but if you're going to do it (particularly in first person) have it make sense damn it! Because words used wrongly will only serve to confuse the reader, such as here. Also if a reader has to look up words just to get what is going on, that's a bad sign. They are supposed to be concentrating on your story, not scratching their heads at a word and trying to figure out what exactly is being said.
Well, moving on, Bella and Jessica are made into the stereotype of teenage girls. They analyze everything that was said on the date. Bella bad mouth's the waitress (petty much, Bella?) and Jessica draws the conclusion that if Edward ignored such a pretty girl then he MUST like Bella. First, sexist point for this whole conversation because it makes it seem like this is all we girls really talk about. I am a girl and though it's been awhile since I've been a teen, I can tell you, this is not the case.
Second, just because a guy ignores a pretty girl throwing herself at him does not automatically mean he likes the girl he's with or anyone else for that matter. It could be that he was raised to be a gentleman, the girl isn't his type, or that he doesn't approve of that type of behavior. Or that he's gay. But no, apparently in this book men are horny and the only reason they could possibly ignore a girl is if they like another girl already and are trying to make a good impression. This book is not only sexist against women, it's sexist against men too. Because if I was a man reading that, I'd be pretty offended. Further in the conversation we get this:

"Oh well. He is unbelievably gorgeous." Jessica shrugged as if this excused
any flaws. Which, in her book, it probably did.
From Twilight, page 204

God, hypocrite much Bella? Haven't you been going on and on about Edward's looks and have basically thought of him as perfect this whole time, ignoring the stalking, the condescending tones, etc? You also have not even really bothered finding out anything else beyond his vampire thing. You don't know his likes and dislikes, or anything like that which is why, you can't describe his personality to Jessica. You don't know him yet. Also, he never said he wanted to be good. He just said he didn't want to kill. Not wanting to kill isn't the same as going around in a cape like Superman which is how you're describing it.
If the hypocrisy wasn't bad enough, the conversation then turns into "so you like him?", "Yes.", "Do you REALLY like him?" I mean my God, are these seventeen year old girls or pre-teens? Though that's probably not fair to pre-teens because I know some who are actually a lot more mature then Bella-Sue. But honestly, this bit made me wonder. Bella then quickly turns the conversation to Jessica and Mike. Not because she actually cares about them, mind you. No. She just doesn't want to be bothered with questions anymore. Lovely friend, huh?
Bella goes to meet Edward for lunch and once again, she assumes people have no lives and are staring at her and Edward. I have no idea why Edward is getting her lunch for her. I'm sure Meyer thought this would be a romantic gesture but to me it just screams controlling boyfriend.
More awkward small talk between our supposed soul mates. If these two are so destined for each other, why is it I cringe whenever I read a conversation between them? Part of it is, I know, the cheesy dialogue Meyer uses. But mostly because again, it just all feels so awkward.
Well, it gets more cheesy because Bella starts to go emo (again) and goes "Look at me, I'm so ugly." To which Edward goes, no, no, you're beautiful! All the males in this school drool over you!
BLAH. First, this is Mary-Sue all over the place. All the males wanted her on her first day? Even the teachers? Yeah, Mary-Sue. That's not even going into how illogical it is to have all the males panting over one supposed plain looking girl. No gay people in this school? No males who didn't meet her? Or I don't know, in love with other girls already? Please.
Arguing about Bella's looks again, we then get another gag-worthy conversation that is pretty much pointless so I won't go into it but I am confused about this part:

I made a face at the memory. "You know, I haven't forgiven you for the
Tyler thing yet," I warned him. "It's your fault that he's deluded himself into
thinking I'm going to prom with him."
From Twilight, page 212

Eh? Did I miss something? Did Edward suggest the prom thing to Tyler or something? Because I was under the impression Tyler came up with this on his own. Also, again, it's Bella's own fault for not taking him aside and saying she's not going with him. But still, where was it that Edward was responsible for this? Did I miss it when I was banging my head at Bella's stupidity?
Well, if I did, whatever. More pointless conversation after this that kind of actually turns interesting because it talks about Edward, Emmet, and Jasper going bear hunting. I find it ironic that considering she's a vegetarian, Meyer has no problem killing off protected wildlife in this book. But anyway, just when it gets interesting, chapter ends because lunch is over. Have I mentioned that Meyer sucks at ending chapters?

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY/ARE USED WRONG/DO NOT BELONG: ostentacious, agitation (used wrongly)
WHINE COUNT: only one
MARY-SUE/GARY-STUISMS: Bella-All the boys in the school were thinking dirty thoughts about me. Even ones I'd never met and my teachers!

BOOK THAT IS BETTER: Tithe by Holly Black
WHY IT'S BETTER: If you're going to be creative with your words, THIS is how you do it. Black's writing can be flowery but it's still solid writing. Just be warned, that this is NOT Twilight. It actually is as far from Twilight as you can get. There are fairies but these are gruesome fairies, not tinkerbell kind of fairies. There's also stuff like cussing, smoking, a gay guy, etc. It is still awesome, but if you don't like dark gritty stories then you might not like it. I also reccomend Spiderwick Chronicles if you still want to look into the author. It's less darker being that the book is for kids.

TWILIGHT: Chapter 9-Theory

Chapter Summary: Bella questions Edward some more. Entire chapter is one boring conversation. Much like how this entire book is one boring conversation after conversation.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
This is another chapter that starts where the last one left off. Only where in other books, they leave off at cliff hangers, this book does it in breaks in coversation. Someone really needs to teach Meyer about suspense and how to use it properly. Going from one conversation to the next is not suspense. Well, Bella begs Edward for one question and the important one she comes up with is how he found her even though I thought that was already answered in the last chapter but apparently I was wrong.
Here is where Meyer's logic starts to REALLY deterioate. I could be able to overlook some parts of this but then the logic just starts to fail so bad that you just have to shake your head at it. Edward said he followed her scent. Um, excuse me but since when did vampires have a keen sense of smell? Werewolves, I could understand but vamps? Beyond smelling blood, they shouldn't be able to do this. Meyer would realize this if she had done some damn research.
Then Bella starts to ask about the "mind-reading thing" and feels silly about talking about it. Get over it, honey. It'll save you a lot of grief in the future. Then Edward confirms that he can hear people's thoughts.
Now, vampires have been known to have some sort of mind control so I could have let this go but apparently Edward is the only vamp able to do this. Which makes him even more Gary-Stu, he's special even among the vampires ;rolls eyes;. Then it's revealed that he can't hear Bella. Edward says that maybe her mind is different from others. Yeah, another attempt by Meyer to make Bella seem super special. Bella of course, goes all emo at this:

"My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak?"The words bothered me more then
they should-probably because his speculation hit home. I'd always suspected as
much and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed.
From Twilight, page 181

First, that slash should be a comma. Is it me, or does Meyer overuse those things? Second, Edward never said your mind doesn't work right or implied you were a freak you stupid girl. You just drew that conclusion yourself. Also, since when were you so worried that you were a freak? You've thought it maybe once in this entire book. Third, having him not read your thoughts is a GOOD thing. You have your privacy. I would personally be very relieved that stalker boy couldn't read my thoughts.
Then Bella suddenly notices out of the blue that Edward is going one hundred miles per hour. Um, I'm sorry it took her this long to notice? Trust me, you KNOW when a car is going one hundred miles per hour because you can feel it. Another logic fail for Meyer. I won't even bother going over the stupid holy crow expression. I think it's great that you don't want to have cussing in these books and everything Meyer, but seriously, holy crow?
Edward pretty much laughs off her worry which personally pissed me off. She had every right to be freaked out. Unlike immortal Edward, she can't walk away from a collision. So him laughing at her made him out to be more then a little of a jerk. But Meyer tries to make it out like he's cool and suave and in control. He can read minds remember? So he can keep track of where the police are and has never had an accident or a ticket. Which somehow excuses endangering others lives. So he's using his head detecting police when he should...I don't know, be contrating on the road like a responsible driver would? The fact that he's never had an accident before is kind of a miracle. Also, it never occured to Meyer as she wrote this that teen drivers are reading this? That they might get the idea that if they speed they won't get caught either? Oh wait, I forgot, she doesn't think when she writes. It shows.
Bella gives the excuse that she was raised to obey traffic laws (never mind that it's obvious Charlie had no hand in raising her so this is a flimsy excuse at best) and Edward slows down to eighty and grumbles about going slow. Eighty is still speeding Meyer. Or do you not know that most interstate highway speed limits are 65? Even if you follow the ten mile over rule, eighty is still speeding.
Well, while I'm seething over Meyer condoning speeding on a highway, lets move on Bella brings up her trip to the beach and what Jacob told her. She tries to gloss over the flirting but fails and Edward laughs at the image. Classy, Edward. Real classy. Why is he perfect boyfriend material again?
When she gets confirmation, she starts to quiz him on vampire dos and don'ts. Which is where we learn what the difference with Meyers vampirers are. We learn one of her special things is that vampires don't sleep. I still think this is kind of stupid (all creatures sleep at some point, we need it) but it does explain the bags under the eyes that these guys supposingly have (but is never mentioned again except once I notice) so I'll let it go.
Then Edward of course says he's dangerous (he is a stereotype remember, we need to be reminded of this) and that being with Bella is a mistake. This thought works poor Bella to tears. God this girl is PATHETIC. Seriously, did feminism even HAPPEN in Meyer's world? Most of the girls I know today would have looked him and glared for this, or demanded to know why he was stalking her then, or something. Anything other then being driven to tears over one insensitive remark. Grow a freaking backbone Bella.
The conversation then does a total 180 and Bella is somehow chatizing Edward for making her worry. I'm sorry but this part had no place in this chapter and at this point in their relationship. These too barely know each other and owe nothing to each other and therefore there is no reason for him and Bella to be talking like an old married couple or for Bella to act like an upset girlfriend/fiance whatever. Now, later in the book, after they've established a relationship...maybe. But here it makes no sense and seems really out of place. Once again, please think when you're writing Meyer. Contrary to what you believe, it does help.
Nonsense conversation then devolves into corny lines that basically go like this:
Edward-I'm a dangerous bad boy! You must fear me and stay away!
Bella-No! I refuse to believe that! You're too cute to be dangerous! ;goes to cry more;
UGH. Stuff like this is why this series makes me gag and I normally like romance stories. Then out of the blue, he asks her what she was thinking back when those guys almost attacked her and gets angry when she says she was thinking about how to defend herself. Yes, how dare a girl try and defend herself, Edward. I'm giving Meyer another sexist point for this. Maybe I should keep track of these as well...
They get home (awfully quick in my opinion, but whatever) and we get pointless fluff. Bella gets to keep Edward's jacket (god, what is this the sixties?) because apparently she only has one jacket. Um...this girl lives in Washington State. I was under the impression this area was rather cold at times and extremely rainy so why would she only have one jacket? Heck, most teenagers I know have at least three or four to switch around depending on their mood, the weather, and what their outfit is. So her having one jacket is stupid and a pointless plot device used for fluff. This chapter FINALLY ends with her talking to Charlie and going up to her room where she decides that she is in love with Edward.
This brings me to reason nine of why I dislike this series.
REASON NINE: They fall in love WAY too quickly and WAY too easily.
To those who try and classify Twilight as a vampire book I laugh at you. It is a romance book, pure and simple. A romance book that happens to have creatures similar to vampires because vampire books sell. Now, there is nothing wrong with this. I myself enjoy a good romantic romp and am a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic (but one who is practical). So that said, you would think I would love Twilight.
Well, I hate it and this is one of the main reasons why. The romance is shallow. The author takes no time to build it, or give it depth. Edward and Bella get together halfway through the first book for crying out loud. There is no good reasons we are given as to why these two are in love. We are just told they are in love and expected to buy it. They don't have to work for this love either. No questioning as to the others feelings (except for like one chapter), no obstacles in them getting together (except their own moronic selves and they overcome them pretty quickly) and heck. We don't even see them date like normal couples do. If you're going to do romance at least make it interesting and believable. What Meyer has here? Not believable and very boring.

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY/DON'T BELONG WHERE THEY'RE USED: modulate
MARY-SUE/GARY-STUISMS: Edward-I read minds; I'm the only vamp that can! Aren't I cool?
Bella-My mind is so special, Edward can't read it.
MEYER CONTRIDICTION: Bella says Charlie raised her to obey traffic laws. He never raised her though and she doesn't really listen to him anyway so this is obviously false.

BOOKS THAT ARE BETTER: Anything by Jane Austen
WHY IT IS BETTER: THIS is what romance writing should be. These are also the classic romance stories and arguably some of the best novels written in the english language.

TWILIGHT: Chapter 8-Port Angeles

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella goes dress shopping, gossips and then gets lost and almost attacked. Edward, of course, immediately saves her and they have a dinner date and go home, therefore sucking any hint of conflict out of this book.

NOTES/REACTIONS/THOUGHTS:
The chapter opens with Bella, Jessica, and Angela driving to Port Angeles. Apparently Jessica speeds too. I love how everyone in this book doesn't obey traffic laws. Remember kiddies, traffic laws are for losers. Speed to your hearts content. Don't pay any attention to those silly reports about people getting into accidents because others don't follow the rules of the road.
Anyway, the girls gossip of course, about boys. Cause you know that's all we talk about. Boys and clothes. Or at least that's all we seem to talk about in this book. We never talk about movies, music, books, or current events. That's just silly. Just so you know, this is another sexist thing in this book.
Apparently the girls don't know what semiformal means, even though it's pretty obvious to me, but whatever. Both Jessica and Angela are surprised to learn that Bella has never been to a dance. I'm surprised too. Okay, she never had a date. She never heard of going to the dance on her own? Lots of girls do that nowadays. Just because you don't have a date doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself at a dance or party.
Then Jessica goes, but you get asked out here all the time. Once again, Meyer points out the ridiculousness of her own story without meaning too. Cause it really makes no sense that a girl who had no boys drooling over her in a past school, suddenly gains millions of admirers in a new school. The small town excuse doesn't fly either, Meyer. But Meyer ignores the Mary-Sueness of course, and then we learn that Tyler has been saying he's going to the prom with Bella which pisses her off of course. I personally don't see why she's surprised and have no sympathy for her situation. Because you know what? It's her own damn fault.
She should have let Tyler make amends right away and had been very clear that she didn't want to go to prom with him. Yes, I know he walked away before she could say no earlier. But she could have pulled him aside the next time she saw him and firmly said no, she didn't want to go and that she'd just accept him buying her lunch or something. So yeah, it's her own fault. Therefore this bit is totally out of line:

I ground my teeth. "Do you think that if I ran him over with my truck he
would stop feeling guilty about the accident? That he might give up on making
amends and call it even?"
From Twilight, page 154

First, there should probably be a comma after truck. Second, what a bitch! There is no reason to say that about anyone, I don't care how much they are annoying you. A roll of your eyes is one thing, but this is out of line. Also, again, this is your own damn fault Bella. It also really pissed me off that Jessica snickered instead of chastizing her and Angela didn't even say anything. My friends would have told me when I was being a bitch. Also, when did Bella start calling Jessica Jess? All of a sudden, she's got a nickname for these people that she basically ignores? I also hate that of course, Lauren's problem with Bella is because she's jealous and it has to do with a man.
Nothing to do with how Bella acts like she's better then them and treats the people around her, it's because of a man. Ever notice how when someone doesn't like Bella it always boils down to jealousy? Also that the people who don't like her are almost always women? Nice portrayel of females Meyer. Again, I scoff at the idea that this book is empowering to women. I also give another sexist point for this book.
Anyway, we move on to the riveting dress shopping with her friends. Bella asks Angela about the Cullens missing school and learns that they miss school when the weather is nice. Angela thinks it's because they're outdoorsy. Um, where did she get that conclusion? They drive pricey cars and look like fashion plates! I never saw any indication that they were outdoorsy people. God, Meyer, use some logic.
The riveting dress shopping ends with Bella splitting from her friends to go look for a bookstore. She apparently can look up vampires on the internet, but apparently can't search for a bookstore in Port Angeles online. Nope, that would be logic again, so instead she goes wandering. In a place she's never been too. Once again, I point out how STUPID this girl is. She somehow winds up downtown from the boardwalk. Wow, walked far, didn't she? She spots a volvo and somehow for some reason that makes her angry at Edward. Calling him stupid and unreliable. Um, where is this coming from? Am I missing something again?
She then runs into guys who clearly the sort who are up to no good. Cause you know, rapists make themselves clearly visible. Or would be rapists anyway. Somehow she got from the boardwalk, to downtown, to the warehouse area. I'm sorry, this is a city? She did all of this in like an hour? Most cities have these parts seperated and well spread out. So how the hell did she get this far into town on foot? No one walks that fast or gets that lost. But then, I'm using logic, I keep forgetting that has no place in this book.
Of course, since it's Bella, the guys start chasing her through the warehouses until she's surrounded. Now at this point I'm actually intrigued, thinking something exciting is finally going to happen here. Maybe she gets raped and we have to see her and Edward deal with the consequences? Or she magically knows tai kwon doe (hey, she IS a Mary Sue) and kicks their butt long enough to get away and grows more confident in herself?
But no, Meyer kills any sort of conflict by having Edward rush in with his volvo, get Bella in the car, and speeds away. My excitement just burst like a balloon. This brings me to reason eight for disliking this series.
REASON EIGHT FOR DISLIKING TWILIGHT: NO conflict.
All good books have conflict, be it internal or external. Conflict is usually part of the story and coming to the resolution is what helps drive a plot. Really good books have several conflicts and manage to solve all of them (if they don't, then there's probably going to be a sequel). Twilight however, has no conflict. Oh it tries, don't get me wrong, but it's like Meyer can't bear putting her characters in any sort of danger and so makes sure that any conflict that pops up is solved almost immediately and of course, satisfactorily for all the main characters.
This moment here is just one example of how she immediately kllls coflict. Later in the book we get the big bad vamp after Bella who is easily killed by the Cullens, making you wonder why it was dragged out over those chapters. All conflicts later in the series are easily solved and end happily for everyone too. The Edward/Bella/Jacob love triangle is magically solved by having Jacob fall for Bella's baby. Therefore, he's no longer in love with Bella and gets a true love and Bella gets to keep her friend, and Edward no longer has to worry about a rival. No word yet on how the baby herself feels about this, but chances are, she falls for Jacob.
The series is just full of magical solutions like that and while there is nothing neccessarily WRONG with it (well, I think the baby thing is messed up but that's another rant for when I get to Breaking Dawn) it does make the world out to be black and white. Also, it tends to kill any interest I may have had in this series. I would maybe have been more interested if Bella and Edward had to fight more for their relationship and actually WORK at it. But they don't. It also makes this series even more unrealistic. I know it's about vampires and werewolves so it won't be completely realistic, but come on. You're still dealing with people and characters and relationships. In real life, Jacob would have moved on from Bella and their relationship would probably never be what it was again. She would have had to deal with it too. But no, Meyer just can't bear to have her characters go through pain so she makes everything magically work out and it makes this story very boring and predictable.
Back to this chapter, Bella and Edward talk in his car as he drives, trying to calm himself down. I love how she asks him if he's okay first, when really it should be the other way around. Fans like to point to this as another example of her being selfless. Yeah, I might give you that if the premise wasn't ridiculous.
She starts babbling to distract him and they have a good laugh over poor Tyler who has done nothing but try to make amends for almost killing Bella. Yeah, what an idiot. They meet up with Jesica and Angela at an italian restaurant that is on a boardwalk. Um...okay. Have any of you been to boardwalks? Yeah, I have too and I never saw any restaurants that were described like this one. I saw diners, hot dog stands, fast food places, kid friendly places and places that could be politely described as dives (but with awesome food, I miss my crab shack...). Never saw a posh italian restaurant. They must be at a really fancy boardwalk or this is another case of Meyer failing to use logic.
Jessica and Angela are dazzled by Edward and I have to barf as they immediately agree to letting him take Bella home. Yeesh girls, have some dignity for crying out loud. I hate how all the females are described as turning to mush around him. Like we just can't help ourselves around a totally hot guy. Another sexist point for Meyer.
In the restaurant Edward does the same thing with the hostess and Bella naturally is disgusted, even though she is pretty much the same whenever Edward so much as looks at her. Hypocrite much, Bella? She gets over impressed by how he asks for a more private table and they sit. Then we get the lame line that launched over a million t-shirts:

"Do I dazzle you?"
From Twilight, page 168

That noise you heard was me groaning. Seriously, if I didn't know this book was overly cliche before, I do now. Anyway, the server comes and she too turns into mush over Edward, and they order drinks. Edward asks how she is and then says she should be in shock right now. Um, excuse me, those guys didn't even lay a hand on her. Startled, yes. Maybe a little shaken. But going into shock? Are you kidding me? Were I Bella I would have been insulted by his opinion of my nerves but she is too busy being dazzled by his smile. Grow a backbone girl.
Waitress returns and they order food. Bella realizes she left her jacket in Jessica's car and we get the cliche of Edward offering his coat. She realizes she's never noted what he was wearing, being too obsessed with his face to care. So now we get the pointless description of his clothes and how of course, it makes him look even more gorgeous.
The waitress brings the food and then a fun question/answer game begins. Bella asks him questions about his abilities. Then we have this stupid remark by Edward:

"I was wrong-you're much more observant than I gave you credit for."
From Twilight, page 173

Yeah, she's observant all right. She's just now figured you're a vamp when the clue bus was basically hitting her for like a month. Another desperate attempt by Meyer to make her Mary-Sue look smart and special. We're basically told that Edward kept track of her through other people. Somehow Jessica has a picture of the bookstore in her head even though she probably hasn't been there but whatever, that was a tip off to Edward that something was wrong and we know the rest.
They finish and leave the restaurant and Meyer's idea of a thrilling ending of a chapter is Edward saying now it's his turn to ask questions.

WORDS THAT A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER NORMALLY SAY/DON'T BELONG: southerly, raucously, instantaneously, silken, perpetual, ordinariness
MARY-SUE/GARY-STUISMS: I'm asked out all the time here even though before I wasn't and I didn't even change about myself
I dazzle people by just looking at them
WHINE LIST: How dare Tyler assume he's taking me to prom when I never told him no properly!
MEYER CONTRIDICTIONS: Bella/Meyer tries to make all the females who turn to mush around Edward out to be shallow harpies only interested in appearance, but Bella basically acts the same way as they do so she is not much better then they are.

TWILIGHT: Chapter 7-Nightmare

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella thinks about the Cullens, does "research", thinks more, talks to her "friends", and then goes dress shopping.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
So we get this big production of Bella listening to a CD that she describes as "noise". Wow. A teenager calling rock music "noise". You know everytime Bella starts to sound like an old lady instead of the seventeen year old she's supposed to be, I'm going to assume that this is Meyer accidently forcing her personality on Bella again. Other instances include when Bella knows how to make homeade mexican food, sounds like she's a walking theasaurus, and just doesn't act like a teenager. That excuse about her being an "old soul" does not fly either Meyer, just so you know. Because were she actually an old soul, she wouldn't act as immaturely as she does later on.
Anyways, she falls asleep (how you can fall asleep with "noise" music I don't know, but whatever) and of course, has a dream. She also immediately knows she's dreaming. Show of hands, how many of you know when you're dreaming? Also, how many of those dreams are as vivid as Bella describes? You neither? I'm thinking we have ourselves another Mary Sue instance.
But, back to the dream, which is of course ANOTHER big foreshadow. Meyer is abusing the use of foreshadow at this point. Foreshadow is supposed to be SUBTLE like in Harry Potter when we got a brief mention of Sirius in book one and he shows up later in book three. This is called BAD foreshadow, it also does nothing to add to the book which ultimately makes it pointless. Like eighty percent of this book. Basically, Bella dreams of Edward, he's all dark and dangerous, Jacob and Mike call to her, and Jacob is replaced with a wolf (here be foreshadow), and she of course ignores them and goes up to the dangerous Edward where he almost bites her. Have I mentioned that this girl is stupid?
Anyways, before he bites her, she wakes up. We then get the "thrilling" exploits of her taking a shower, eating, and going on the internet to do "research". The reason I put quotes around research is because going onto the internet and using google is not research. It's a first step in the process yes. But as any college professor and any person who has done proper research can tell you, you cannot rely on the internet alone. You especially cannot trust .com websites which I'm betting the website Bella is using is. You can use it as a starting point. But you need books to back up the info you're getting because there is a big chance that the info you're getting is wrong. But considering Meyer has done little to no research on this series, I am not surprised Bella is doing little research here. This brings me to reason seven about disliking Twilight.
REASON SEVEN FOR DISLIKING TWILIGHT: Lack of research.
Meyer has said on occasion that she did very little research for this series beyond intertnet searching. You know what? It shows. Now a popular response among Twihards is that "but it's FANTASY, you can't research fantasy". In actual truth you can. JKR did tons of research for Harry Potter on mythical creatures and whatnot, likewise Tolkein and C.S.Lewis. All decent writers research something and they go beyond the internet to do it. Meyer should have done much more research then look up where the rainiest parts of the US were. She could have talked to teenagers and asked what they learned at school, or looked up curriculum. She could have actually GONE to a small town and observed the atmosphere and talked to the people about what small town life is like. Even better, she could have gone to Forks itself and observed what it was like.
Then there is the so-called science she used to explain her creatures (I refuse to call these vamps, they are not vampires). She should have researched that up the wazoo. If she hadn't, she could have said, it's magic and then I would have bought it. But she insisted on saying that she is using science for the existance of the Cullens and so it's just absurd. If she had done actual research, her novel wouldn't be half the joke it is.
Another thing that bugs me is when Bella uses the internet. She uses dial up.
Um...I'm sorry, Charlie is the cheif of police. I'm pretty sure he can afford high speed internet. Hell FARMERS have high speed internet nowadays. If farmers have it, then I'm sure Forks has it. They aren't out in the boonies for crying out loud. Another example of Meyer's ignorance that she could have changed with research or you know, using logic. Also, there's this little thing called pop-up blocker? Most computers have them nowadays. What is Bella using a computer from the eighties or something?
So anyway, Bella discovers a vampire website and basically assumes everything on this one site is true. Again, I point out that this is bad research. Students if you have a paper, don't follow Bella's example here. I also have to snort at this:

And another problem, one that I'd remembered from the small number of scary
movies that I'd seen and was backed up by today's reading-vampires couldn't come
out in the daytime, the sun would burn them to a cinder.
From Twilight, page 135

First, this is a run-on sentence, pleast edit Meyer. Second, you're taking HOLLYWOOD'S word for it and the word of ONE website you've visited? God, for a smart girl, Bella really is dumb. Later, Bella gets embarressed with herself for looking up vampires:

What was wrong with me? I decided that most of the blame belonged on the
doorstep of the town of Forks-and the entire Olympic Peninsula, for that
matter.
From Twilight, page 135

For God sakes girl, stop blaming the TOWN for your own problems. The TOWN is not making you look up vampires. The TOWN is not making you insist on obsessing over Edward. This is all YOU. You are just making excuses for yourself. Also, what is so embarressing about looking up vampires? I've looked up far more embarressing things for school. Ah health class, how much I DON'T miss you.
So Bella has a hissy fit and goes off into the woods to think. In woods that she doesn't know. I don't need to comment on how stupid this is, do I? I don't care if there's a trail, you can still get lost on trails. Anyway, she thinks about the Cullens and her situation and reviews her options.
Well, she can't just stay away like Edward soundly advised her too, The mere thought of that causes her agony. Excuse me while I roll my eyes at this.
She also decides that no, she's not afraid of Edward like it was said in her dream. She is actually afraid FOR Edward. Yeah. I'm thinking this is justification on Meyer's part, how about you guys? Besides which, Bella is apparently already in too deep to turn away now. God, words cannot describe how melodramatic this novel has become. It was at this point I put the book away in disgust the first time I read it and didn't look at it again until the craze hit. I'm sorry, she's had less then ten conversations with this guy. How is that in to deep?
Later Bella goes to school the next day and runs into Mike and we get this lovely:

"What are you writing yours on?"
"Whether Shakespeare's treatment of the female characters is
misogynastic."
From Twilight, page 143

Okay, first of all that should be "whether Shakespeare's treatment of HIS female characters is misogynastic". Second, WHAT?! The girl who cooks and cleans after her father, lets boys yank her around, lets Edward tell her what to do and so on, is suddenly saying she's a feminist? I think this was Meyer trying to make Bella seem deep and say look, my character is a strong female. What it comes across as though is that Bella (aka Meyer) is a hypocrite. Also I must point out that in Shakespeare's time, the way the women were treated was typical in his time period. Doesn't make it right, but that is what happened. However, there is no such excuse for Meyer and the way she portrays women. Also, there are women in Shakespeare's plays who are ten times stronger then Bella. Catherine from Taming of the Shrew for instance? Well, up until the end, anyway.
Moving on, Mike asks Bella out. AGAIN. I thought he was going to the dance with Jessica? That's kind of low of him to ask the girls friend out if he's going to a dance with said girl. But instead of pointing this out severely to Mike as a true friend would have done, Bella just chastizes him gently and points him to Jessica. Not that I'm surprised because as established, she doesn't care about her friends feelings, she only cares about her. Having Mike realize Jessica likes him helps her out because now he won't bug her. She can go back to obsessing over Edward in peace. Personally I like Mike and hope he and Jessica work out. I also hope that they end up ditching Bella and all her whining.
During school time, we get this:

Of course I was happy about the sunlight. But that wasn't completely
responsible for the euphoric mood I was in, not even close.
From Twilight, page 145

Wait, she was HAPPY? I didn't get that at all until she told me. This is massive author fail on Meyer's part because were she a competant writer, we wouldn't need to be told she was happy. I also would believe it more if I was told. Of course, since it turns out that the Cullens aren't there, Bella is miserable again. I don't know why she's surprised. She now knows or has a pretty good idea that they are vampires right? Since it's sunny outside, what does that tell you, Bella? Oh wait, I was using logic. My bad.
Bella goes into a state of depression and goes home where she marinates a fish (Mary Sue alert), and reads Jane Austen. Finally something that isn't masochistic. I also kind of had a laugh at her frustration at the names even as I rolled my eyes at her childish tantrum. Charlie comes home and she ;gasp; spends time with him! She also even asks him for permission for something. Yeah, shocked me too. Boring chapter ends with her going dress shopping.

THINGS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY/WORDS THAT DON'T BELONG: dint, sodden, shambled, exponentially, euphoric
WHINE LIST: Can't Jane Austin find any other names to use?!
Charlie were female, I wouldn't have to explain why I'm going dress shopping when I don't need a dress.
MARY SUE/GARY STUISM: I know when I'm dreaming, even though many people don't.
I marinate fish even though I'm seventeen

BOOKS THAT ARE BETTER: The Alchemyst series by Michael Scott
WHY IT'S BETTER: THIS is a fantasy series that is well researched and brilliant in it's idea. It's got great characters, great action, and an intense plot going on.

TWILIGHT: Chapter 6-Scary Stories

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella and her "friends" go to the beach where she meets Jacob Black in the chapter I like to call the big foreshadow.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
This opens with Bella reading Macbeth. Once again, I'm getting masochist vibes from this girl. Alice somehow manages to get her car in the lot without her hearing it. How you cannot hear a big truck pull into the driveway I don't know. What this has to do with this chapter or the story at all, I don't know.
After the pointless opening paragraph we get more drama from her "friends". I keep putting quotes around friends, because Bella doesn't even like them or care enough about them to get any info beyond their names and gossip. Notice we never hear anything about Jessica's homelife or any of their families. No. Bella doesn't care. They are just there for her to hang around with. So yeah, they are not friends.
Anyways, she and her "friends" are going to the beach, which of course, she is not excited about at all because it'll be boring. One suprise though, turns out there is a girl named Lauren who ;gasp; DOESN'T LIKE BELLA. Yeah, I know. I died of shock too. But of course, Bella immediately puts her in the "mean girl" category and notes how nasal sounding her voice is. You know in the decent YA novels, authors try to give all characters, including the mean ones, some sort of depth. Take Cordelia from Buffy or Lana from Princess Diaries (BOOK Lana, not movie Lana, who later in the series becomes kind of awesome). But somehow, I doubt Meyer will do this with Lauren.
We get the next day and all of a sudden we actually get SUN.

I hurried to the window to check, and sure enough, there was the sun. It
was in the wrong place in the sky, too low, and it didn't seem to be a s close
as it should be, but it was definitely the sun.
From Twilight, page 113

I'm sorry but WHAT? How the hell can the sun be in the wrong place? Does Meyer even READ this as she's typing? Does she not realize how STUPID that sounds? I'm also beginning to get mighty tired of Bella's vivid desriptions of the weather. What, does she want to be a weather girl or something? Having all this in there is pointless and makes no sense. Just say it was sunny and then move on. This brings me back to the too many descriptions and lack of editing reason on my list of why I dislike this book.
So after the riveting description of the weather Bella actually lowers herself to hang out with the locals. She immediately notes that there is one other girl besides Lauren who doesn't like her (and it's obviously because she ran into her in P.E. cause you know, we girls are that petty) and doesn't even remember her name. This is of course going to ruin her day. Once again, it's called OPTIMISM Bella. Also I'm sorry but two girls not liking you, out the hundreds of people that do, is going to ruin your day? Really? You barely even know these girls, so why should you care so much if they like you or not?
We then get the fun discussion of who drives in what car and riveting description of the scenery. In another Meyer contridiction, Bella has suddenly decided she likes nature now because she goes on about how breathtaking it all is. When earlier she was complaining about how it was too green.
Then we get more "thrilling" adventures with the group of friends describing what they did on their day. The girls all stayed by the camp fire while the boys went hiking and Bella decides to go with them. This brings me to my next reason for disliking this book.
REASON SIX FOR DISLIKING TWILIGHT: Slight sexist overtones.
I know some of you are probably now rolling your eyes and I agree. I get tired of people calling sexist every chance they get on one little detail in a book. I usually don't even go into stuff like this as my reasons for disliking something. However, in Twilight's case, there was just too much of it to ignore. The first book is not AS bad. But later in the series? Good God, it's like feminism never happened.
Normally I would not care, but women keep tauting this book as "empowering" for them when IT IS NOT. This series is all about Edward ladies, don't kid yourselves. Edward swoops in and saves Bella constantly (later it's Jacob and in some cases, it's both). Bella cooks and cleans, she does EVERYTHING Edward tells her to do and never questions him (at least not seriously). This part here where the girls all want to stand around and gossip at the fire and the boys want to go on a manly hike is just one way this series can be sexist. I will point out other ways as we get further.
Moving on, Bella goes hiking (and of course manages to scrape herself up, though how you can scrape yourself while walking I don't know) and during all of this we get vivid descriptions of tide pools and Bella of course thinks about Edward because as established, she is obsessed. Then we get this stupid thought:

I was thinking about how disjointedly time seemed to flow in Forks, passing
in a blur at times, with single images standing out more clearly than others.
And then, at other times, every second was significant, etched in my mind.
From Twilight, page 118

Sigh. First off, that is a run on sentence yet again Meyer. EDIT. Second, you don't start sentences with and. Third, this is called REGULAR LIFE. Edward and Forks have NOTHING to do with this which is of course, what Meyer is trying to imply.
When Bella and the boys come back from their hike, some kids from the La Push reservation have come to socialize. This is where the foreshadow starts. We meet Jacob Black. Yep, that Jacob. Anyone who knows anything about pop culture knows this story has a big love triangle and you've all probably seen the team Edward and team Jacob shirts so I probably don't need to explain why this is a big foreshadow.
Naturally, after one conversation, Bella's pheromones work their magic on Jacob and he obviously now has the hots for her. Lauren is watching this all and is clearly disgusted (I don't blame her, it's pretty lame how all these boys grovel at this girls feet after talking to her ONE TIME. Don't men have more self respect then this? I used to think so, after reading this book I have to wonder now). But since Lauren is now resident mean girl, her disdain is seen as bitchiness by Bella (who might as well be Meyer speaking to us). She paints Lauren out as rude when she asks Jacob questions that any normal girl in their right mind would ask. But no, since it's the girl who doesn't like her, she's being a bitch. Petty much Bella?
Lauren brings up the Cullens of course and Bella senses hostility from the group as one guy says the Cullens don't come down there. Well, Bella thinks this is odd because how could anyone not like the perfect Cullens? So she hatches a plan: she's going to seduce the info out of Jacob.
Just so you know, this is another sexist point. Women of course always use their feminine wiles to get information out of men. We wouldn't dream of just ASKING. I hate how this is the first idea that pops into her head. Not just clever round about ways of getting the info. No, Bella has to flirt. I do love the great message THIS sends to teenage girls. Ladies, men are weak against our feminine wiles. Flirt with them to get what you want and then throw them away when you're done. This isn't just sexist for women, it's sexist for men too.
So Bella flirts. Badly. But since it's BELLA, it works. Jacob, because he is now under our Mary-Sue's spell, tells her about the legends around La Push talking about the "cold ones" and his tribe. This story is so much foreshadow I was pretty much going "oh, well now I know what will be coming up in the next book". His people walk with the wolves. Seriously, how obvious can you get?
What had me banging my head though, was this:

"Werewolves have enemies?"
"Only one."
I stared at him earnestly, hoping to disguise my impatience as
admiration.
From Twilight, page 125

Oh COME ON. How stupid IS Bella? Anyone who knows anything about pop culture can tell you: the natural enemy of the werewolf are VAMPIRES. DUH. Even someone who has never seen a vampire or werewolf movie can tell you that. Then there was Jacob describing them as the "cold ones". Seriously, how hard does the clue bus have to hit this girl?
So the Cullens are the "cold ones" aka vampires. Though Bella, being you know DUMB, hasn't figured that out yet. We get more foreshadow as she and Jacob say good-bye and she notes that they could be good friends. Then she and the rest of her "friends" leave as I am still waiting for this so-called "suspense" that was promised to me on the back of the book.

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY: attenuated, russet
WHINES: none for this one either! Progress!
MARY SUE/GARY STUISMS: Jacob-I'm smitten with you already even though we've talked once.
MEYER CONTRIDICTION: Bella says earlier that she doesn't like all this nature but describes the scenery on the way as breathtaking.

BOOK THAT IS BETTER: Young Wizards series by Diane Duane
WHY IT'S BETTER: Better plot, better characters, and actual suspense and suprises because you don't know where the series is going at the beginning.

TWILIGHT: Chapter 5-Blood Type

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella has science class and plays cavewoman to Edward and Mike's caveman. That's it.

NOTES/REACTIONS/THOUGHTS:
This is a continuation from the other boring chapter so Bella is still going to class in a daze. All because Edward offered to drive her to Seattle. I know teenagers are supposed to be overdramatic and whatnot but yeesh.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you again," Jessica said, finally breaking
through my abstraction with his name.
From Twilight, page 86

I honestly thought that abstraction was a typo and that Meyer meant to put in distraction instead. But judging from Webster, she put that there deliberately. But still, the fact that I had to look it up, says that this is not the right word to use here. Once again, please edit Meyer. Edward beckons Bella over to his table where we get this:

"Does he mean you?" Jessica asked with insulting astonishment in her
voice.
From Twilight, page 87

Bella, she is within her rights to be surprised okay? You and Edward have barely interacted, and he's a notorious loner. Also he's been ignoring you for a month, remember? Why WOULDN'T she be surprised?
Bella joins Edward of course and much awkward small talk follows. Again. So I will tell my next reason for disliking Twilight here.
REASON 5 FOR DISLIKING TWILIGHT: Awkward and unnatural sounding dialogue.
Twilight has a LOT of dialogue. That's okay, so do a lot of other books. But the thing is, those other books have GOOD dialogue that don't come across as unnatural sounding and actually add something to the books. In Twilight, much of it comes across as awkward. At least to me. Also a vast majority of it is unneeded.
Why does it sound unnatural? Mostly, because none of these characters sound like I would think they should. Bella does not sound seventeen, Edward does not sound like a over hundred year old boy and likewise with all the other characters. You don't have accents, you don't have lingo distinqushing them, and none of their personality shows through the dialogue either. Part of that is underdeveloped characters. Which is something I'll go into later.
Another part of it is just Meyer's writing skill, or lack thereof in her case. She keeps trying to be a literary author and therefore puts all these big literary words into the text without THINKING about it. What happens is that we get teenagers saying words that they would never say normally, at least no teenagers I know. Now, if EDWARD had been narrating the story and it was him and his family doing the talking, I could see it. But he isn't, and it's mostly Bella so it comes across as fake. Also again, lack of character depth.
A better author would have noticed this and cooled it with the literary prose and added some lingo, or pop culture references or SOMETHING. Meyer did not. Please don't try to tell me this is due to her age and being out of touch with teenagers. She has kids from what I understand so she could talk to them, and I know plenty of authors who manage to do this and they have no kids. James Patterson managed to make Max sound like a teenage girl and he's a guy who is at least fifty.
Moving on, we get small talk with Edward and Bella where he once again warns Bella he's dangerous and she stupidly ignores him. Girls, don't do this in real life. If a guy looks dangerous, acts dangerous, SAYS he's dangerous then he's probably not good boyfriend material. If you want to hang out okay, maybe. But please don't try to date him because real life isn't the movies, it will probably end up in tears. For you. He probably won't give a damn.
Edward asks Bella about what she's been thinking about him these few weeks and we get this lovely:

I blushed. I had been vacillating during the last month between Bruce Wayne
and Peter Parker. There was no way I was going to own up to that.
From Twilight, page 89

Well good, Bella because my inner comic book geek would like to point out to you that neither of these mentioned heroes have super strength. They also would have done a much better job than Edward at covering up their tracks after saving someone. For instance, they would have simply pushed you out of the way and then after it was clear you were okay they would have snuck away quickly before you or anyone saw them. They are awesome like that. Also, they are not real. Just to make sure you realize that. On a completely unrelated note I would like to say that comparing Gary Stu Edward to the complex superheroes that are Batman and Spiderman is kind of an insult to DC and Marvel. I'm just saying.
Okay, my geek moment is over now. Back to the boring small talk. We finally get an instance of Bella showing some sort of spine:

"No," I disagreed quickly, my eyes narrowing. "I can't imagine why that
would be frustrating at all-just because someone refuses to tell you what
they're thinking even if all the while they're making cryptic little remarks
specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possible
mean...now, why would that be frustrating?"
From Twilight, page 90

Yes! Despite the run-on sentencing, Bella is finally standing up to this creep! Go girl! Don't take any of his crap!
Cut to the next couple of pages: ugh. Never mind.

"It's healthy to ditch class now and then." He smiled upat me, but his eyes
were still troubled.
From Twilight, page 93

This guy is supposed to be a role model for the perfect boyfriend? He's freaking encouraging her to ditch school! I love how this never comes up in those "Edward is perfect" conversations Twihards have.
Well, Bella luckily says no to ditching class, which makes my respect for her go up a notch. But then we have the epic fainting scene so it plummits very quickly.
We have science where it turns out they are doing some sort of experiment that involves pricking your finger for blood. I've never heard of a science class doing something like this but maybe this is just another one of those things that is unique to Forks. Anyway, the teacer pricks Mike's finger from across the room and little Bella immediately starts to feel nauseated.
I'm sorry, but could this girl BE any more pathetic? I am not crazy about blood either, I hate getting shots. But one drop of blood that she probably can't even see or smell makes her feel faint? What is this, the seventeen hundreds where all the girls screamed at the sight of a mouse? This is a book that is supposed to be empowering for women? HOW?
Mike naturally takes Bella to the infirmary and we get what I like to call a caveman scene between Edward and Mike who basically argue over who takes care of poor little Bella while she just stands there and takes it. I would have socked both of them walked to the infirmary myself. But apparently in this book feminism hasn't happened and we females are weak and need strong man to take care of us.
Whatever.
Edward wins the caveman battle and drags Bella to infirmary where the nurse frets. He then drags her to his car instead of letting her drive herself because again ladies, she is weak damsel in distress and Edward is big strong man.
Bella goes with Edward and we learn that Edward likes classical music. Bella doesn't know much but she can pick out the piece that Edward is playing and has favorites. That implies that she knows something about it. Also I'm sorry, but Renee didn't strike me as the kind of person who listens to classical like Bella says. I think this is another Mary Sue instance for Meyer because she wanted to have Bella know about classical to make her seem smart and to have something in common with Edward I guess.
Conversation turns to Renee and Bella says her mom and she are best friends. Um, really? Because from their interaction, I didn't get that vibe at all. I got Bella thinks her Mom is a flake and so Bella needs to take care of her. I didn't get any level of trust or best friend vibes like what I get with say Lorelai and Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls who actually ARE friends.
Also in Meyer's desperate attempt to make Bella seem mature (which is negated by her whining and the way she acts) we have this quote from Edward:

"I'm seventeen," I responded, a little confused.
"You don't seem seventeen."
From Twilight, page 105

WHAT? That sound you heard was me snorting my Diet Coke through my nose as I have to laugh at this sad attempt by Meyer. Bella is a teenager. But no, mentally she's not seventeen. She's mentally TWELVE. Possibly ELEVEN. I mean no disrespect to anyone who are these ages, I know there are plenty of you out there who are quite mature but in Bella's case she acts younger then she is. She makes assumptions, acts like the world is out to get her, has that whole emo thing going on, whines constantly, and is quite frankly very shallow. She also mopes when she doesn't get her way. Now most seventeen year olds have gotten over the whole "world doesn't understand me" thing. I also know many who have much more respect for others and adults then this girl has shown.
So yeah, I have to laugh at this lame attempt by Meyer to make Bella seem older then she is. If she was older mentally she would realize the world does not revolve around her, that the world is not as black and white as she's been making it out to be, and would actually have some sort of respect for people and some self respect for herself. This observation would make sense if Bella actually acted mature. She does not. Therefore it's laughable.
Edward drives Bella home and this whole pointless (yet again; two for two Meyer) chapter ends.

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY: disparaging, vacillating, inpenetrable
WHINE COUNT: No whines for this part! Shocked me too.
MARY-SUEISM: Two boys are fighting over the honor of taking me to the infirmary
MEYER CONTRIDICTION: Bella: My mom and I are best friends even though we don't actually act like best friends.

BOOK THAT IS BETTER: Maximum Ride by James Patterson
WHY IT'S BETTER: This is what actual suspense is. Not this stupid book. Also Max is awesome and sounds like she's a teenage girl.

TWILIGHT: Chapter 4-Invitations

CHAPTER SUMMARY: This is yet another chapter that was completely pointless. Most of it is detailing drama between Bella and her friends up until the "exciting" part where Edward decides he's going to drive Bella to Seattle. Why? No reason at all. It's another convenient plot device.

NOTES/REACTIONS/THOUGHTS:
So we open up to a paragraph about the obvious forshadowing that is Bella's dream about Edward. Yippee. This whole paragraph was unnecessary. It didn't add anything to the chapter and certainly nothing to the book. Why is it even there in the first place other then for overdramatic reasons?
Anyways, we get to learn about the excitement that is Bella's school life. She is naturally still fawned over even more because of her accident and now Tyler has a thing for her too and it's very annoying for poor Bella. I must point out that the fact that these boys have a thing for her still after a month, kind of deletes Meyer saying it was because she's new and shiny for these boys.
But Bella is more upset that Edward now ignores her. She does not understand why her pheromones won't work on the boy she actually WANTS it to work on. Now if Meyer had maybe kept this scenario going (one boy she can't have is the one boy she wants) this book might have actually been somewhat interesting. Sadly, she can't NOT give her Mary-Sue what she wants and we get the rest of this dumb story.
Even more dramatic is ;gasp; Bella thinks Edward has regretted saving her!

He wished he hadn't pulled me from the path of Tyler's van-there was no
other conclusion I could come to.
From Twilight, page 70

Oh brother. No other conclusion Bella, really? How about, he's trying to keep a low profile? He's got more important things to worry about than YOU? God this girl really thinks it's all about her, doesn't she? Personally, this is what I wish happened because then we would have a much less annoying narrator.
Anyways, Bella goes on with her daily life in the next month. We learn that Jessica conveniently likes Mike and Bella naturally sees an oppurtunity to help herself get rid of her annoying suitors and tries to set them up. There is a spring dance (I see romantic oppurtunities popping up here, who else?) and Jessica feels the need to ask Bella if she can ask Mike. Cause you know, Bella has shown such enthusiam for Mike before. Jessica tries to talk Bella into going but does it half heartedly and Bella, being the emo girl she is, thinks this:

I suspected that Jessica enjoyed my inexpicable popularity more than my
actual company.
From Twilight, page 71

Yes, that must be it, Bella. She is using you. She couldn't at all be doing it half heartedly because she knows you're not into stuff like this and oh yeah, you never show enthusiasm for anything other than Edward Cullen. Normal things like dances are beneath you. She also could be getting tired of your constant whining, doom and gloom look on life, and the way you seem to think it's all about you. I know I'm certainly tired of it.
So after this "exciting" drama we cut to science again. Bella all but tells the clueless Mike to go with Jessica. I know people like to point to this as an example of how Bella is "selfless". Look, she sets up her friends! It's so cute! Uh, no. She is doing this for her own gain. With Mike looking at Jessica, she doesn't have to deal with him any more. This is not selfless.
But anyways, back to science class. We get more awkward small talk between Bella and Edward. Have I mentioned the dialogue makes me cringe? Yes? Well, this is another example. Bella is still mad at Edward for not trusting her and is basically a childish brat.
Eric of course is next up for the dance and this invitation also annoys her. We have a scene with clutzy Bella in gym and I have to say I enjoy the clutzy Bella moments. They make her endearing for like a few minutes.Then comes poor Tyler who has been trying to make ammends and asks her to the dance also. Well, by this time she is outright livid at all these boys who seem to think she would give them the time of day.

I had to remember it wasn't his fault that Mike and Eric had already used
up my quota of patience for the day.
From Twilight, page 77

Now, I'm annoyed with her again. Good God girl, all they did was ASK YOU TO A DANCE. Do you know how many girls would be THRILLED to be asked once in the first place? But no, these boys are beneath your notice and very annoying with their attention. Maybe if you had just out right TOLD them you weren't interested in the first place, you wouldn't have these problems to begin with. But I guess that never occured to you, did it perfect Bella-Sue? As for Tyler, if he wants to make ammends that much, just let him take you to dinner or something. Would it be that horrible to spend time with a boy who isn't Edward?
So, all these boys getting rejected greatly amuses Edward who watches from afar. Stand up guy, that Cullen. Taking enjoyment out of everyone's embarrasment. Bella goes home and has a Mary-Sue moment were she magically can make home made enchiladas. Show of hands teenage girls, how many of you know how to make anything home made without being shown how? None? Me neither. I'm an adult too. In fact, I know very little people who do this. I believe this is yet another case of Meyer inserting her skills into Bella's skills even though her having those skills is not logical. Further proof this girl is a Mary-Sue.
Anyways, during her Mary-Sue moment, Bella of course thinks about Edward. I have to roll my eyes at the overdramatic stuff here. Edward doesn't like me because I'm horrible and he's so perfect, WAH! This girl is seventeen? Really? I know eleven year olds with better heads on their shoulders then this girl. During this sobfest we get this note on Edward:

I wasn't interesting. And he was. Interesting...and brilliant...and
mysterious...and perfect..and beautiful...and possibly able to lift full-sized
vans with one hand.
From Twilight, page 79

Excuse me while I throw up. Never mind the grammer part (you should not start a sentence with and), but seriously HOW does she know all these things? She's had less then five conversations with him! I will agree, she isn't interesting. But how does she know he's brilliant? Also, there is no such thing as the perfect person. If a person is perfect, then they are most likely a robot.
So Bella and Charlie have dinner and she decides to clue him on to the fact that she is going to Seattle. I really need to comment on this part:

I didn't want to ask permission-it set a bad precedent-but I felt rude, so I
tacked it on at the end.
From Twilight, page 80

WHAT. THE. HELL? It feels RUDE to ask your PARENT for PERMISSION to go to a strange city that you've never been to before? This girl is a role model HOW exactly? Because it's clear that she has no respect for adults whatsoever. Especially her own parents. Now, I can't exactly blame her for Renee. Her mother is clearly a flake and Bella obviously had to be the adult so I can sort of understand why she has issues with Renee. But Charlie has shown that he cares and is TRYING. Bella has no reason to disrespect him. In fact, considering he's a police officer she should be freaking PROUD of him. I don't care HOW small Forks is, police officers have a thankless job. But no, she doesn't want to ask permission but feels she might as well to appear polite. Girls, PLEASE do not follow Bella's example here. This is called being a spoiled brat.
While I'm fuming as Charlie says okay, here are some whines thrown in:
WHINE #25: Charlie wants to spend time with me! EW!
WHINE #26: He's actually interested in my life. It's this stupid small town's fault, of course.
The next morning, Edward shows up. I feel this is a good time to come to my next reason for dislking Twilight.
REASON 4 FOR DISLIKING TWILIGHT: Edward Cullen.
Yes, girls, you heard me right. I do not like Edward Cullen. Go and get your pitchforks, I don't care. I will admit, there is a hotness about him. However, that is where the appeal for me ends. Because Edward? Is a bad character. Why? There are many reasons I think this. But first, is the lost potential.
Edward, actually did sort of intrigue me in the beginning. When he traded barbs with Bella slightly in the beginning I kind of liked it. Of course, I tend to like the snarky/arguementive couples (Darcy/Elizabeth, Spike/Buffy, and currently Castle/Beckett from Castle) so this was no surprise to me. However after a chapter or two, it's like Meyer decided this snark wasn't a good thing and then quickly pulled Edward back into your typical romantic lead with a heart of gold. Then on top of that, she made him out to be quite a jerk, slightly abusive, and put in many sexist overtones in the relationship and in the book itself. I will go into that in later chapters.
So yeah, my beef with Edward is mostly the lost oppurtunity. He could have been SO interesting. But no, Meyer just had to make him Gary Stu. Worse, she added SPARKLES and he and Bella had NOTHING in common. Unless you count that both are pretty selfish. Even worse is that he doesn't change. I don't care if he's supposedly "perfect" and doesn't need to change. If a character doesn't grow or change then why should I care about this story to begin with? So yeah, Edward (and Bella) is a bad character. Now my rant has ended.
Anyways, Edward shows up and talks to Bella. This is where the story starts to plummit and where I basically had lost most of my interest because it was clear where the plot was going in case anyone was wondering when I decided this book was bad. But as I was saying, he's there and offers to drive her to Seattle. She accepts. This ladies and gentlemen is the "exciting" part of this chapter. Meyer really needs to look up the definition of climax again. I'm beginning to think she's forgotten what it is.
So Bella accepts and thus ends the boring chapter.

WHINE COUNT: 2

THINGS/WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY: perceptibly, precedent, finite,

MARY SUE/GARY STUISMS: I know how to make home made enchiladas even though I'm only seventeen!
Edward is so perfect!

BOOK THAT IS BETTER: Howl's Moving Castle by Dianne Wynne Jones
WHY IT'S BETTER: THIS is how you do a romantic lead in a novel, Meyer. Howl is interesting, he's got flaws, and he CHANGES but is still not perfect near the end either. Sophie is equally as interesting and it's also well written and not boring. True, it can be random at times, but it's still a great romance and Jones isn't afraid to make her characters not perfect or the typical romantic leads. Plus, it's a fantasy classic. I also reccomend the anime movie by Hayao Miyazaki. Even though it's vastly different from the book, the spirit of it is still there, and it's beautifully done.

TWILIGHT: CHAPTER 3: Phenomenon

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella almost gets hit by a van and is (regrettably in my opinion) saved by Edward. The clue bus hits Bella as she realizes he and his family aren't normal as everyone around her overreacts to the situation.

This chapter opens to Bella discovering to her horror that it has snowed. Again.
WHINE #18: More snow. It'll make me look like a bigger klutz then I am.
We then see Bella go through her thrilling morning routine as she thinks about stuff. Now during this, one word pops out at me: aloneness. At first, I didn't think it was a word and Meyer had goofed again, but according to Webster it is. So I will leave Meyer alone on this one. However, in the case it is used, solitude would have been a more appropriate word I think.
Bella also of course thinks about Edward and notes how obsessed she is already. She also notes that it is probably stupid so at least she REALIZES that obsessing over a boy she hardly knows is stupid. Maybe there's hope for this girl.
Cut to Bella having a klutzy moment outside and due to this she's now certain that she's going to have a horrible day. She clearly has never heard of optimism before. Then as she drives, Bella thinks about how it is strange that two boys like her when she was not liked this much back at her old school. THANK YOU she points out her own Mary-Sue characteristics. Maybe there'll be actual depth to this story after all? Oh no, Meyer now puts in an explanation for it and once again, it's the small town excuse:

Perhaps it was because I was a novelty here, where novelties were few and
far between.
From Twilight, page 55

If you're wondering about that sound, that was my head hitting my desk. Meyer, STOP USING THIS EXCUSE! Especially since it's obvious you've never been to a small town before. Also Bella, get the hell over yourself. You are not that interesting to these poor hicks. Give me a break.
We get to school and Bella sees that Charlie has put chains around her truck tires. How Bella didn't feel the chains as she was driving is beyond me, but I'll let it slide. This brings me to the one thing in this book that I kind of do like: Charlie.
Charlie is an awesome dad. Or as awesome as he can be considering he's never had the chance to be a proper father. He clearly supports Bella when he actually does not have too. He takes this girl in, gives her a free truck, and later lets her date Edward even though it's clear he's not comfortable with the idea. Bella? Appreciates NONE of it. She is actually surprised when he does things like this and I don't understand why because it's pretty clear in the first few chapters that he's a stand-up guy. Renee was pretty stupid to let him go just because she didn't like where he lived. So I will give awesome character points for Charlie. But he is one of the very few things I like about this series.
Then comes an actual exciting part in this book. Bella almost gets hit by a van. Is it bad that I was kind of disappointed that it didn't happen and or that the incident didn't make Bella wake up and realize, "life's short, I should probably appreciate the awesome life I have"? That's a bad sign when you WANT the heroine of the story to get hit. I was under the impression that you are supposed to root for the main character of a story, right?
But since there are a gazillion more pages to go, Bella obviously makes it through because Edward naturally saves her in the nick of time. Stupid Edward. Should have let her be and then the series would have been over. Oh well.
So the van turns out to be a convenient (and rather dumb) way for Bella to discover that there is not something quite right with that Edward boy. Because you know, the pale skin and changing eye color weren't enough clues. I have several problems with the van scene but my first major one is WHY DID BELLA NOT GET OUT OF THE FREAKING WAY HERSELF?
She clearly heard the van in time, she saw that it was swerving towards her but instead of I don't know, getting the hell out of dodge, she takes the moment to stare at Edward Cullen. Can we say stupid heroine? Show of hands girls (or boys), how many of you would stare at a complete stranger or any person as a van is skidding towards you? None? I thought so. So either Bella is extremely slow or this is another instance of Meyer not thinking things through. Which is reason number three on my list for not liking Twilight: Lack of Logic. This is only the first instance of lack of logic. Read on to other chapters for more instances.
So naturally Edward saves Bella (again, BOO) and she is surprised that she is actually hurt. I am too, Meyer didn't strike me as the kind to actually hurt her Mary-Sues. Maybe there's hope for this series? Bella though, is more concerned with Edward and is mad when he won't answer any of her questions. Yes Bella, you just met this boy yesterday and he has the nerve to not tell you his deep dark secrets yet. How dare he.
She is naturally even more upset when people force her to go through the hospital because they actually care about her wellbeing after she was nearly hit by a car. This starts a series of whines for our poor Bella.
WHINE #19: I had to ride to the hospital in a STRETCHER. So unfair.
WHINE #20: They made me wear a NECK BRACE.
WHINE #21: I had to be rolled into the hospital like some LOSER.
Bella ends up sharing a room with the boy who nearly hurt her and he is apologizing right and left and Bella has to sigh because it's clear that she now has another boy who has the hots for her. It couldn't at all be because he's freaked that he nearly killed a person. Nope. He's obviously in love with Bella and it annoys her to no end. I'm calling a Mary-Sue alert here. It annoys Edward too because he basically ignores him.
We then conveniently get to meet Doctor Cullen and I have to point out this sentence:

He was young, he was blond...and he was handsomer than any movie star I'd
ever seen.
From Twilight, page 61

Handsomer, Meyer? Really? Say that sentence in your head please. Doesn't sound right does it? Maybe because once again, you've used the wrong word in your quest to make yourself look like a literary author. Hansomer is not the right word to use here. PLEASE EDIT. Also, Gary-Stu points for Doctor Cullen who is young and handsome and a doctor and rich of course. Also everyone at the hospital loves him too.
More Mary-Sue points for Bella too because everyone at school skipped class to make sure she was okay. She is of course mortified by this.
WHINE #22: All these people are acting so concerned about my welfare. IT'S ANNOYING.
Bella continues to question Edward and he continues to be annoyed by her questions and in this converstion we get this:

"I don't owe you anything."
Edward, from Twilight, page 64

As aggravating and condescending Edward is being in this chapter, he makes a good point here. He doesn't even know Bella. They have just met. Therefore he doesn't owe her anything and she has no right/reason to be upset that he isn't spilling his deep dark secrets to her.
Bella is later sent home where she is further annoyed by parental units and she starts to dream about Edward.
WHINE #23: Charlie had the nerve to tell my MOTHER about my almost accident. Now she's annoying me with her worries.
WHINE #24: Charlie is worried about me too. It's so annoying.

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY: disconcerting, simultaneously, providentially, handsomer
MARY-SUE/GARY-STUISMS: Doctor Cullen-I am young, handsome, rich, and a doctor. Naturally the whole hospital loves me.
The whole school (or a majority of it) turn up to make sure Bella is okay, because class is dumb.
MEYER CONTRIDICTION: Bella says she doesn't like to lie. Yet she's been lying to basically everyone about how she actually feels since she got to Forks.

BOOK THAT IS BETTER: Anything by Tamora Pierce. She has two series, the Tortall series and the Circle of Magic series. Each is brilliant though I'm partial to Circle of Magic.
WHY THEY ARE BETTER: THESE are characters. They have stuff thrown at them, they have to work hard, and they CHANGE. It is also well researched and thought through. Pierce has created worlds that you have no problem believing. She's given them history, depth and a wide range of characters that are interesting and that you grow to care about. Also, THESE are kick-ass heroines. Nothing at all like whiny Bella-Sue.