Twilight: Chapter 2. Open Book

CHAPTER TWO: See Bella go to school. See Bella shop. Edward comes back! Isn't this chapter exciting? Not.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS TO CHAPTER:
Oh look. Bella has found her place in school quickly. As with all Mary-Sues she has already made a whole bunch of friends and it's only her first week. Not just friends, she has two boys fighting over her! It is a problem for little Bella of course, she doesn't like it.
To be honest, I found the entire first half of this chapter unnecessary. The events could have been summed up in about two pages but it gets dragged on for like ten. This brings me to my next reason for disliking Twilight.

REASON TWO FOR DISLIKING TWILIGHT: Lack of editing and overuse of words and description.
Reportedly Meyer did not allow her publisher to let her story be edited and frankly, it shows. Many of these events are filler and not needed. We do no need to see Bella shopping. We don't need many of the other events of this chapter either. Her descriptions are also overdone and use way too many words. For instance, dense and opaque to describe clouds is silly. Just say it was cloudy and get it over with. I admit she has some good descriptions but honestly, she tends to go overboard. We don't need all these different descriptions of Edward and his family.
That said, lets move on with the boring chapter. Bella is obssessed with Edward already and he hasn't even spoken ten words to her yet. Makes a whole lot of sense that she would be obssessed already doesn't it? Not. Oh, there is another whine by the way.
WHINE #15: Wind kept me up and I couldn't sleep even though it was actually probably just me thinking about Edward all night.
I also am getting really irritated with all these assumptions Bella makes about Forks, such as this one:

In a town like this, where everyone lived on top of everyone else,
diplomacy was essential.
From Twilight, Page 31

WHERE does she get this idea from? She has lived in Forks a grand total of TWO DAYS. I have yet to see any strong evidence of this. Meyer just uses these small town stereotypes and I have to say it's very annoying. If she maybe backed up all these claims, I wouldn't mind so much but all we get is Bella's view on the town and I have to say, Bella's view on Forks is very warped.
Anyway, after Bella goes to school, we see her spot the Cullens again and notes again, how beautiful they all are. We even get this lovely tidbit from her about how even though the Cullens are all beautiful and rich, they somehow aren't accepted.

It seemed excessive for them to have both looks and money. But as far as I
could tell, life worked that way most of the time. It didn't look as if it
bought them any acceptance here.
No, I didn't fully believe that. The isolation must be their desire; I
couldn't imagine any door that wouldn't be opened by that degree of
beauty.
From Twilight, Page 32

Oh, THAT isn't a superficial statement at all. I'm sorry, people say this girl is DEEP? Nice message you're sending here Meyer: beautiful and rich people are ALWAYS going to be accepted no matter what. If they are not, it's because they don't want to be. Please.
Then we see Bella go shopping where we see this puzzling statement:

It was nice to be inside a supermarket. It felt normal.
From Twilight, Page 32

I'm sorry but what? Bella has led a perfectly normal life up until this point. Beyond mean Edward, she has no reason to crave normalacy. Now AFTER she gets to know Edward and his ilk, then yeah this would make sense. EDIT Meyer.
Next we see that Bella has worried e-mails from her Mom, and naturally this is annoying. Heaven forbid a mother worry about her daughter, although I will agree that it is a bit excessive on Renee's part. The girl only got there yesterday woman, give her time to breath and settle in.
I must comment on the part where Bella reads Wuthering Heights. FOR FUN. Okay, I love to read. Wuthering Heights is a very good book. But do you know ANYONE who would qualify that as a "for fun" book? I certainly don't. Once was kind of enough for me. Cause that book? A whole lot of depressing stuff going on. It is also not the romantic book that people make it out to be. The most romantic part is when Catherine DIES, hello. I guess Meyer is trying to make Bella seem deep and intellectual but really to me, this just implies that this girl could possibly be a masochist.
Then we see Bella and Charlie have dinner and oh look, Charlie likes the Cullens too. But I'm sorry, has he ever MET the Cullens? Had the oppurtunity? Considering they're rich and he's the police chief, I doubt it but maybe he has. As it has been drilled into our heads over and over, Forks is a small town. I must also say that once again, if the family has been in a place for TWO YEARS, they are not newcomers.
Then there is talk of Bella's week. She accepts an invitation to a beach even though she doesn't want to go. She is sure she won't like it of course.
WHINE #16: Beaches should be hot and dry. She complains about this when SHE HASN'T BEEN THERE YET. ;shakes Bella;
WHINE #17: Ew snow. Why does everyone here like it so much? Losers.
Oh look, Edward is back. Insert another description here.
We see Bella and Edward make awkward small talk. Which is really all the dialogue in the book but with these two it is especially grating. We also discover that naturally Bella was in AP science back home (she is a Mary-Sue, this is to be expected). Bella, I'm betting the teacher was grumbling because he's wondering why you didn't just sign up for the AP courses in Forks too. Don't give me the Forks is small excuse either, most high schools, if not all have AP courses. So Bella is just in this class because it's a convenient way for her to interact with Edward.
More awkward small talk with Edward who of course, TOTALLY gets where Bella is coming from. I do so love this part:

"You put on a good show," he said slowly. "But I'd be willing to be that
you're suffering more than you let anyone see."
From Twilight, Page 49

WHAT THE HELL? This girl just MOVED. That is all. The way he's talking, you'd think she had lost a parent or something. Let me tell you something Edward. Teenagers move all the time. Some of us don't actually get a say in the matter like miss Bella here. Some of us move to completely strange environments where we don't have a Dad waiting for us it's the whole family moving. We know nothing about the place and do not have people welcoming us with open arms. There are also teenagers who do this multiple times a year. I've had to do it. In fact, I completely changed timezones. I had to move from the east coast to the midwest. In the middle of eighth grade too. I also know teenagers who have suffered ten times worse then poor Bella. So sorry if I don't feel an ounce of pity for little emo Bella.
Awkward small talk finally ends and Bella spies Edward laughing in the parking lot. Call the presses. This ends the long and pointless chapter. At least this chapter wasn't as whiny and as bad as the first one. But again, half of it was not needed.

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY: opaque, chivelrously, woolgathering, cursorily, ocher.
MARY-SUEISM: Duh, I was in an AP course. I don't know why I'm in a regular course NOW though.
I know how to make steak and potatoes even though I'm only a teenage girl.

Twilight, Chapter 1: First Sight

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella arrives in Forks, meets the people of Forks, sees Edward and his family for the first time. This is all that goes on for TWENTY SIX PAGES. You would think that by this summary, it would be like fifteen.

REACTIONS/THOUGHTS AND OTHER NOTES IN THIS CHAPTER:
We open to Bella in the car with her Mom and it is made clear from the get go: she is not happy. With anything. Nothing in her life is even remotely okay. This chapter immediately brings up my main reason for disliking Twilight:
REASON ONE FOR DISLIKING TWILIGHT: Bella
I'm sorry, but Bella is a little emo drama queen and it drives me up the wall. She whines about EVERYTHING. She is seriously never happy. She is sure she will have a horrible time in Forks when she's never even given it a chance, she whines about how she's supposedly this big freak but when she's treated decently by people she whines about THAT. I personally can not stand characters like this. If you're going to angst, at least angst for a good reason like your parents died and you genuinely have a horrible life or something. Bella, from what we're shown, has a pretty damn good life. Yeah, her parents may need some work but not everyone has perfect parents. She is just whining for the sake of whining. I also understand that she's a teenager and they do whine. Heck knows, I had my cases when I was a teen and sometimes do still vent but I never whined about every little thing. Which in this book, Bella seems too. Maybe some people don't mind that, but for me, the whining was very annoying. If you guys think I'm being too hard on Bella, okay. I will keep track of every tiny thing Bella whines about or at least has a problem with. Then you tell me I am being too hard on her. Here are some in just the first few pages:
WHINE #1: Forks is too rainy! No sun!
WHINE #2: It's a small town! I love cities!
WHINE #3: ;gasp; My Mom is trying to talk me out of my self imposed exhile. How dare she!
WHINE #4: I have to spend an hour in the car with my DAD ;gasp of horror;
WHINE #5: Forks is TOO GREEN.
WHINE #6: Forks High is SO SMALL (please also note, she's assuming this when she's NEVER BEEN THERE)
WHINE #7: Everyone here knows everyone else. I'm going to be a big freak (again, she's assuming this when she has yet to say two words to anyone in Forks)
WHINE #8: I hate my looks. I'm so ugly, even though the description I give of myself makes me seem very pretty.
WHINE #9: NO ONE understands me! ;sob;
Please keep in mind that all of these are up to page 11. Like I said, it's ridiculous. I feel like angsty violen music should be playing when I read this book.
Another issue I have with this book are the vocabulary words that Bella (aka Meyer speaking through Bella) throws in. For instance the word verbose. Seriously. No teenager talks likes this. I don't care how much Bella reads or how much a teenager reads. I read but I never use words like this ever. No adults use these words. Not even college professors. So what is the point of throwing all these unneeded words in? Especially since it does not help your character any. If you're trying to make us believe this is a seventeen year old speaking, you are failing. From her whining, I'm guessing she is thirteen, from the vocabularly I would think it was a fourty year old genius or something. We're getting mixed messages here Meyer just so you know.
Next we have Bella getting a free car that will of course, not make her happy. She will never be happy (cue violens again) here. Then she has a big emo moment and cries herself to sleep. Because you know, choosing to move when you don't have too is JUST that horrible.
Cut to the next day where we have filler paragraphs that are not needed. There are lot of these in this book. Another thing that kind of bugs me about it. We also have some whines thrown in as she goes to school.
WHINE #10: Charlie has PICTURES of his only daughter. How dare he!
WHINE #11: Nature! Ew!
WHINE #12: Forks High doesn't look like a school. It's all welcoming and junk.
I love how Bella immediately assumes the receptionist recognizes her name because she's the police chief's daughter. It couldn't at all be because she's the only new kid and that it's her job to have the new kid's information? Sure has an awful high opinion of her importance doesn't she?
Now we have another one of those unneeded paragraphs and I have to ask this. Remember earlier when we had this told to us:

"Ch-Dad, I don't really know anything about cars."-From Twilight, Page 7

Okay. Fine. I know nothing about cars either. But here she is, sitting in the parking lot and noting the price range of these vehicles and the most expensive one. Um...first off, what kind of teenage girl who wasn't interested in cars would do this, and second I thought she didn't know anything about cars so how would she know how expensive each kind is? This isn't even going into how shallow sitting there and noting the expense of a persons car is. This is Meyer Contridiction number one.
What is a Meyer Contridiction? For the sake of this blog and for me it is when Meyer tells us something but ends up showing us something that contridicts it. She does it quite a lot throughout this series. So I'm going to point them out to you just for fun.
Now we get to see Bella going to class and here is where the Mary-Sueness starts. For those that don't know, Mary-Sues are the ultimate character that the author dreams up. They are usually self-inserts (Bella equals Stephanie Meyer) and are always superior in every way. They are always special, always important to the series, always beautiful, and have no flaws. The male version of this is Gary-Stu which Edward most definitely is so I will be keeping track of his perfections as well.
Mary-Sueism one: Bella is of course ahead in school. She's read all of this stuff already even though I've never met a teenager who has read Faulkner and Chaucer even in school. Those are usually reserved for college, unless Bella is in an AP course which considering it's not mentioned, I doubt it. If Bella were in AP classes, we'd be told. She's perfect, remember.
Mary-Sueism two: Everyone here wants to be her friend and is nice to her. Which brings me to another whine.
WHINE #13: People are HELPING me! It's so embarressing and they're just interested because I'm the new girl anyway.
I also must comment on this little comment after the dumb albino joke she made:

He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. It looked like clouds and
a sense of humor didn't mix. A few months of this and I'd forget how to use
sarcasm. From Twilight, page 16

Gee, Bella, way to make a judgement on a town after ONE conversation with ONE person. I'm sorry, why are people supposed to look up to this girl again? I also have to roll my eyes when she thinks everyone in the cafeteria is gawking at her. People have lives outside of you, Bella. Somehow I doubt everyone there was neglecting their lunch to stare at the new girl.
At lunch we see the beautiful (of course) Cullen family for the first time. I will insert Mary-Sue and Gary-Stu points for the fact that they are all so breathtakingly gorgeous. I also must ask how a teenage girl knows what kind of names are popular or not. Also, aside from Jasper and Roselie the names are not all that unusual. I find it kind of rich that a girl named ISABELLA SWAN finds THEIR names weird.
Another thing I must comment on is that just because a person doesn't like another person it does not always boil down to jealousy. But in this book, that is the only reason a person doesn't like another person. Couldn't at all be the way the Cullens all act like they're better then everyone else. Nope, Jessica is obviously jealous and was rejected. She's bitter. Way to make the world seem black and white Meyer.
Another thing I must mention is that if the Cullens moved to Forks TWO YEARS AGO, then they are obviously not new people anymore. Where the hell did that come from anyway?
Next we cut to science where naturally Edward is there and she sits next to him. Oh look, he's being mean and not talking to me. Wah. Never mind that earlier, Bella was just complaining about having too many people pay attention to her. Seriously, there's no pleasing this girl.
WHINE # 14: A boy wouldn't talk me!
After we are introduced to Bella's only character flaw: she's clumsy and bad at sports. Cause you know, that's not at all an overdone stereotype in teen girl heriones at all. Then cut to after classes she hears Edward trying to get out of biology and he turns and glares at her. She bursts into tears as she drives home.

NUMBER OF WHINES: 14

NUMBER OF CONTRIDICTIONS: 2

MARY-SUE/GARY-STUISMS: Everyone loves Bella!
School is so easy!
I'm so important even though I don't want to be
All the Cullens are so beautiful and graceful

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY:
Omnipresent
Inconsequential
Hare-brained
Verb0se
Permeable
Bulbous
Swallower (actually, is this even a word?)
Devastatingly, inhumanely beautiful

BOOK THAT IS BETTER: The Princess Diaries Series by Meg Cabot
WHY IT'S BETTER: It's hysterical for one, with dialogue that doesn't sound forced. Also, THIS is how a teen sounds. Meyer, please take notes. Also, note that I am talking about the BOOK, not the cheesy Disney movie. As cute as the movies were, they don't hold a candle to the books they are based on.

Things to Keep Track of...

As I'm reading Twilight there are several reccuring things that I will be noting in the chapter reads and listing here. So this will be a daily edited post.

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY/WORDS THAT DON'T BELONG WHERE THEY'R USED :
Omnipresent, inconsequential, hare-brained, verbose, permeable, bulbous, swallower (actually, is this even a word?), devastatingly and inhumanely beautiful, opaque, chivelrously, woolgathering, cursorily, ocher, disconcerting, simultaneously, providentially, handsomer, perceptibly, precedent, finite, disparaging, vacillating, inpenetrable, attenuated, russet, dint, sodden, shambled, exponentially, euphoric, southerly, raucously, instantaneously, silken, perpetual, ordinariness, modulate

BELLA'S WHINES:
WHINE #1: Forks is too rainy! No sun!
WHINE #2: It's a small town! I love cities!
WHINE #3: ;gasp; My Mom is trying to talk me out of my self imposed exhile. How dare she!WHINE #4: I have to spend an hour in the car with my DAD ;gasp of horror;
WHINE #5: Forks is TOO GREEN.
WHINE #6: Forks High is SO SMALL (please also note, she's assuming this when she's NEVER BEEN THERE)
WHINE #7: Everyone here knows everyone else. I'm going to be a big freak (again, she's assuming this when she has yet to say two words to anyone in Forks)
WHINE #8: I hate my looks. I'm so ugly, even though the description I give of myself makes me seem very pretty.
WHINE #9: NO ONE understands me! ;sob;
WHINE #10: Charlie has PICTURES of his only daughter. How dare he!
WHINE #11: Nature! Ew!
WHINE #12: Forks High doesn't look like a school. It's all welcoming and junk.
WHINE #13: People are HELPING me! It's so embarressing and they're just interested because I'm the new girl anyway.
WHINE #14: A boy wouldn't talk me!
WHINE #15: Wind kept me up all night!
WHINE #16: Beaches should be hot and dry. She complains about this when SHE HASN'T BEEN THERE YET. ;shakes Bella;
WHINE #17: Ew snow. Why does everyone here like it so much? Losers.
WHINE #18: More snow. It'll make me look like a bigger klutz then I am.
WHINE #19: I had to ride to the hospital in a STRETCHER. So unfair.
WHINE #20: They made me wear a NECK BRACE.
WHINE #21: I had to be rolled into the hospital like some LOSER.
WHINE #22: All these people are acting so concerned about my welfare. IT'S ANNOYING.
WHINE #23: Charlie had the nerve to tell my MOTHER about my almost accident. Now she's annoying me with her worries.
WHINE #24: Charlie is worried about me too. It's so annoying.
WHINE #25: Charlie wants to spend time with me! EW!
WHINE #26: He's actually interested in my life. It's this stupid small town's fault, of course.
WHINE #27: Can't Jane Austin find any other names to use?!
WHINE #28: If Charlie were female, I wouldn't have to explain why I'm going dress shopping when I don't need a dress.
WHINE #29: How dare Tyler assume he's taking me to prom when I never told him no properly!

MARY SUE AND GARY STUISMS:
Everyone loves Bella!
School is so easy. I'm already ahead even though I've moved so this would be unlikely.
I'm so important to everyone here even though I hate the attention.
The Cullens are all so beautiful and graceful.
Duh, I was in an AP course. I don't know why I'm in a regular course NOW though.
I know how to make steak and potatoes even though I'm only a teenage girl.
Doctor Cullen-I am young, handsome, rich, and a doctor. Naturally the whole hospital loves me.
The whole school (or a majority of it) turn up to make sure Bella is okay, because class is dumb.
I know how to make home made enchiladas even though I'm only seventeen!
Edward is so perfect!
Two boys are fighting over the honor of taking me to the infirmary.
Jacob: I'm smitten with you already even though we've talked once.
I know when I'm dreaming, even though many people don't.
I marinate fish even though I'm seventeen
I'm asked out all the time here even though before I wasn't and I didn't even change about myself.
I dazzle people by just looking at them
Edward-I'm the only vampire that can read minds. Aren't I cool?
Bella-My mind is so special that Edward can't read it.

MEYER CONTRIDICTIONS:
We are told by Bella that she is plain but the description given describes her as quite beautiful.
We are told by Bella that she doesn't know anything about cars. Yet she checks out the cars in the parking lot on her first day and notes the expense of them and identifies the most expensive one.
Bella says she doesn't like to lie. Yet she's been lying to basically everyone about how she actually feels since she got to Forks.
Bella: My mom and I are best friends even though we don't actually act like best friends.
Bella says earlier that she doesn't like all this nature but describes the scenery on the way as breathtaking.
Bella/Meyer make out all the women who are dazzled by Edward to be shallow females and only interested in his appearance, yet Bella is basically the same way as they are so she's not much better.
Bella says Charlie raised her to obey traffic laws but she wasn't raised by him and she never listens to what he says anyway so this is obviously false.

Book cover/Info/Preface

TWILIGHT'S BOOK COVER: I will actually admit, the book covers on these things are pretty. They are one of the few things the book does well. They catch your eye, stand out, and symbolism wise are pretty good too. Now, please keep in mind that I'm referring to the ORIGINAL book covers not the crappy redone covers with the movie characters on them staring emotionlessly at you. Those covers suck.

SUMMARY: I'll be honest the summary both intrigued me at first and turned me off at the same time. It is one of the main reasons I waited on the book. The summary on my paperback copy is thus:

About three things I was absolutely positive.
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how dominant that part
might be-that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
From Twilight, back cover

Then there are a lot of quotes from reviews and what not. Seriously, that's all we get. On one hand, it is kind of intriguing, on the other hand, you couldn't give more? Also, I found the summary a little overdramatic. I believe the first time I read it I rolled my eyes and that is part of why I've stayed away from the books for so long. Another reason is, I am not a big vampire fan. Don't get me wrong there can be some fun vampire books and series. I love Buffy to death and have a fondness for the Southern Vampire books by Charlene Harries (aka True Blood books to those who don't know the tv series is based on a long running book series). However a majority of the vamp books out there tend to be the same, highly cliche, and overly dramatic. This summary screamed overdramatic or melodrama to me which now that I think are kind of the same thing, aren't they? Okay, moving on.

There's a quote from Genesis in the beginning. Interesting and I guess now I have the idea that this is supposed to be a forbidden fruit, temptation kind of romance?
PREFACE:
The Preface is actually okay. A little cliche (many vampire/ya novel books do this so it's nothing new) but all right. I have a thing about this hephanating business though. What I mean is the begininng part:

I'd never given much thought to how I would die-though I'd had reason
enough in the last few months-but even if I had, I would not have imagined it
like this.
From Twilight, Page 1

I will admit, I am not an editer. I am not the foremost go to person on grammer. I make mistakes probably as much as the next person. But shouldn't those hephanating things be parentesis? Meaning these: ( ). Is there someone who knows better that could tell me for sure? I could actually be very wrong on this but I've always used parentesis in the situations like above. Oh well, it's a little thing, and like I said I could very well be wrong. So I'm not busting Meyer's chops on this one.
The rest of it is just okay. The preface is certainly nothing new. But it does actually kind of do a rather decent job of making you interested in the story. When I first read it, I made the mistake of thinking "Hm, might actually be a good story and not cliche."
So, overall her beginning was actually rather good at making you interested. At least that's one point in Meyers favor.

BOOK BETTER THAN TWILIGHT: The Gemma Doyle Trilogy by Libba Bray. Books in this trilogy are: A Great and Terrible Beauty, Rebel Angels, and A Sweet Far Thing.
WHY IT'S BETTER: Well, for starters the writing is good. She does good descriptions without going over board, the plot is not just one but several that are interconnected and all solved. She does not have perfect characters, in fact you may not even like the main character all that much in the beginning. But it is a great premise and though the ending isn't necessarily happy, it is hopeful and sends good messages about rebuilding your life after many bad things happen to you. There's also character developement and I gaurantee you have not read a series quite like this before.

Introduction

Okay, I'm going to start out by saying, this is NOT going to be a blog singing Twilight's praises. Sorry, but I do not like this series. If you like it, that is fine. You are certainly welcome to your opinion, just as I'm welcome to mine but don't bitch at me just because you read the title thinking this was going to be a gushing blog. It is not.
What it is going to be is me trying to slog through this series once again and actually finish it and then putting up good things (if there are any) and bad things about the series. So Twilighters, you probably will hate this blog. I suggest you read no further unless you are actually curious as to why people hate this series then by all means go ahead and read. Even come up with rebuttels to my reasons if you wish but those rebuttels better make sense and be better then "But Edward is hot!"
So here is what will happen. I will be posting once a week on each chapter. This week will have the preface and chapter one. I will go over points in each chapter about what is good and what is bad. I will also at the end of each post reccomend a book or series that is better then Twilight for the simple reason that I am sick to death of people saying this is the best book in the world. So that is the mission of this blog. Yes, I know there are a lot of blogs out there doing this. Oh well, I'm bored and tired of being told I'm stupid for not liking this series so this is my way of showing what the various (and there are many) reasons for me not liking Twilight are.