NEW MOON: Chapter 7: Repetition

CHAPTER SUMMARY:Bella continues to hang out with Jacob, there is more foreshadow, that is it.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
Meyer is back with the boring pointless chapters again. Yay. The first scene has Bella pondering if she's masochistic and I have to reply to her: yes, honey, you are. Why else would you have gotten together with Edward in the first place? There needs to be an anti-fanfiction where Bella goes to therapy. Seriously, someone write that. Assuming it hasn't been written already, in which case, send me a link!
Anyway, the reason she wonders if she's masochistic is because she's going to the Cullen's house. Yeah, again, you are masochistic Bella. The thing that gets me though, is apparently Bella knows herself so well that she knows she's lying to herself and being kind of stupid but she's going anyway. Sigh. There's an even more stupid moment when she worries the house won't be there anymore and she'll have imagined it all. Overdramatic much, Meyer?
Of course the house is still there and deserted. Personally, I find it hard to believe no one snatched such a private and beautiful house up and moved in. That I think, would have been more powerful here would be to have Bella come and be startled to find that a different family had moved in. Proof that life goes on.
But, Meyer doesn't think that way I guess and so house is deserted and Bella emos out and then goes find Jacob again. There is also an actual good moment here where Jacob voices his worry that Bella is pretty much using him for the bikes. She assures him this is not the case. Personally, I think this is exactly what Bella is doing but not just with the bikes, she's using him to stay in denial, and also so she can get lessons on bike riding in order to get a rush and hear Edward's voice again.
But the moment is quickly gone as they agree to do homework because apparently Billy and Charlie won't approve of them hanging out so much if they don't. I'm sorry but I think this is stupid because from what I've seen the two are pretty happy with them hanging out together. Hell, the two might as well be singing "Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make me a Match".
Bella gets home and this really irks me:

I got home later than I'd planned and found Charlie had ordered a pizza rather than wait for me. He wouldn't let me apologize.
From New Moon, Chapter 7

What the hell? Why should she have to apologize? Not cooking dinner for your Dad is not a crime. Good God. Just so you know, this is another sexist moment brought to you by Bella Swan who seems to think it's criminal when you don't cook your father dinner even when your father is a grown man and has been taking care of himself way before you came along.
More babble about pointless things: email from mother that is annoying, friends who are being annoying and not accepting her not apology. I'm sorry, but this irks me:

Jess was more resistant. I wondered if she needed a formal written apology for the Port Angeles incident.
From New Moon, Chapter 7

No Bella, she probably actually just needs AN APOLOGY, which you have yet to give her. People are funny like that. We liked to be apologized too when we're treated like crap by our supposed friends. We would also like that apology to be sincere.
Anyway, suddenly she's at work with Mike and Mike has obviously not gotten over her and asks her out. Which once again, disputes that "oh they're just enamoured with something new and shiny" theory that people keep throwing around to explain the ridiculousness of three guys (five counting Jacob and Edward) falling for Bella in the first week. Bella has been here year. Her shininess must have worn off by now, especially since she's supposedly been acting like a zombie the past few months. But no, since it's Bella she's still totally interesting and this guy STILL has a thing for her. Though God knows why since she treats him pretty much like he doesn't exist.
But never mind that, Mike asks her out, it is awkward. Again, this situation would totally be avoided if Bella would just flat out tell Mike she's not interested in him. Guys can take a hint. I love how she says honesty was probably the best policy but she just pretty much avoids being honest with him. Can we say hypocrite?
More babble as she hangs out with Jacob at home doing homework. She somehow magically knows how to make Lasagne (more Mary Sue points, yay!). Then it's suddenly the next day and she's with Jacob again. Look, the bikes are done! That was quick, that was like what, a week? A few days? I also have to say, this, while cute, is kind of annoying:

"Jacob you are absolutely, without a doubt, the most talented and wonderful person I know. You get ten years for this one."
"Cool! I'm middle-aged now."
From New Moon, Chapter 7

Um...excuse me? Since when is mid-twenties middle aged? I'm in my mid twenties and am older then Jacob would be were he ten years older and I feel slightly offended now. Last I checked, middle aged was mid thirties to fifties. Or has that changed since I went to college and took that social studies course? While it was adorable when Jacob said it (thank God Meyer finally has someone who isn't ridiculously emo in this book) I still say this is dumb.
So they get the bikes loaded, and go to a rural part of town. There is talk of crazy cliff divers in yet another foreshadow. More foreshadow as Jacob talks about what goes for a psuedo gang in La Push and how Sam and his crew are a part of it. Everyone who knows something about Twilight knows Sam becomes a regular character too and in case we didn't get the message that Jacob is going to become important later on, Sam watching Jacob sure does. Sweet moment as Bella comforts Jacob. I also want Meyer to look up the definition of albino. That is a person with PALE HAIR, and PALE SKIN. Usually that pale hair is BLONDE. Therefore Bella? Not an albino. Just a pale Mary Sue. Chapter ends with her lessons finally starting.

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY: aberrant
POSSIBLE EDITS: Chapter title yet again. Because there is no repition here.
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: It's not a crime to not cook dinner for your dad.
He laughed, a throaty sound-What the hell is a throaty sound? Throats is not a sound. It is that thing that holds your head to your body and houses your esophagus. IT IS NOT A SOUND.

NEW MOON: Chapter 6-Friends

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella spends time with Jacob...that's pretty much it.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
So Bella and Jacob work on the bikes. Or Jacob does and Bella watches because remember she is female and not supposed to have anything to do with this stuff. Yes, this is a sexist thing in this book because I know plenty of females who know about cars and can change a tire like no ones business (and without breaking a nail). So I'm sorry this whole scene bugs me. It especially bugs me later as Bella watches Jacob and his two friends Quil and Embry (both cute as well, notice there is a severe lack of normal/ugly people in Meyer's world, I'm just saying):

Many of the words they used were unfamiliar to me, and I figured I'd have to have a Y chromosome to really understand the excitement.
From New Moon, Chapter 6

See? How sexist can you get? Also, there should not be a comma after and because there is no pause in the thought/sentence. You were doing so well, Meyer. But anyway, Bella leaves (and is surprised that she actually enjoyed herself; I'm surprised too because from what she was thinking and what was happening I didn't get the sense she enjoyed herself but whatever), and then goes home. I have to admit, I enjoyed Jacob and his two friends banter. The three of them were fun and seem like they actually have personalities even if their hobby is a gross stereotype (all men like to fix cars, don't you know? Sigh).
So Bella gets home and cooks dinner and major Mary Sue points here (haven't had those in awhile) because she knows how to make fried chicken. I count this as Mary Sueness because I'm sorry what eighteen year old (who hasn't grown up in the south or had her mother teach her) would a) willingly make fried chicken, or b) even KNOW how to make fried chicken? It's utterly ridiculous that Bella knows all these difficult recipes that chefs have to explain to adults. But Meyer probably wanted Bella to be Super!Chef so she put this in without thinking that it is strange that a teenager knows how to make it when her mother probably didn't teach her and she is obviously not a Food Network holic. This is why you need to think about things Meyer.
Moving on, Bella makes dinner, talks to her dad (briefly) and then goes to bed, marvels that she didn't dream.
Then there is another day spent with Jacob and I have to say, Jacob is one of the few things I am enjoying about this book so far. He seems to have some sort of personality (not much, but more then Edward and definitely more then Bella) and he's just so adorable you want to squeeze him and if you're me, you want to tell him to stay far away from Bella. I kind of get the Team Jacob movement now. Were I actually a Twihard (which I obviously am not in any sense of the word) I would be Team Jacob but I would be Team Jacob Who Ditches Bella and No Longer Bothers With Her. There needs to be a t-shirt for that...
Where was I? Oh yeah, Jacob and his adorableness. He and Bella gather parts and chat. I have to roll my eyes again though because once again, Bella has a guy who likes her even though they've had one conversation, if that (this time it's Quil). God, I'm beginning to wonder if Bella has pheromones or something. That's the only possible explanation I have for practically every guy she meets or simply LOOKS at getting the hots for her.
More chatting and Bella watching Jacob fix up the bikes and then there's a wierd part where they are walking to the house and Bella gets hysterical for some reason, or close to hysterical. Seriously, what was up with this scene? She's suddenly afraid of the dark or something? I don't get it, but whatever it passes and there's a big dinner with Charlie, Billy, Harry, a new character that we're suddenly supposed to magically know what she looks like (Sue, his wife), and Harry's two children Seth and Leah. All those who have read the series know that Leah becomes a recurring character later on, and that is evident in that she's actually given a description (she's beautiful too of course) while the other two new characters are not.
But we don't see much of Leah because she's constantly on Billy's phone during the evening. Apparently NO one in this backwater town has a cell phone. Odd and very unlikely. One of the many instances were I simply don't get Meyers world. I mean, were cell phones not invented in this universe or something?
So evening ends, Bella is again surprised she enjoyed herself, and they go home. There is email from her Mom/Renee, that she responds too (vivid description of it here). But Bella again has another dream. That she vividly remembers.
Cut to morning and school. Bella starts talking and is miffed that Jessica doesn't automatically respond to her outreach. Now she has to make an actual EFFORT.
So Bella has decided to rejoin her friends and is surprised that no one immediately notices. She has random bitch moments when she talks about Lauren. I'm sorry but I'll believe Lauren is mean person when I actually see her being mean. Just because she doesn't happen to like Bella doesn't make her mean. I also think Lauren has good reason not to like her because um...she basically ignores everyone until it's convenient for HER. The comment about the short hair cut irks me. Let me guess, Bella, girls shouldn't have short hair it's just wrong? I'm sorry it's what it sounds like.
But anyway, Angela is talking and in what is yet ANOTHER foreshadow, there is talk of big bears in the woods. No one believes Angela and Bella actually does something nice and says other people have seen it too. Because you know, if other people have said they saw something in the woods, that automatically makes it so. Everyone is so super shocked that Bella has actually spoken though. Conversation ends and Angela and Bella talk and Bella realizes oh...it's been exactly a year since I've been here. Huh. Isn't that a coincidence? Yes, this is heavy sarcasm. Pointless chapter ends. I see we're back to these again.

WORDS A TEENAGER WOULD NEVER SAY: dithered
POSSIBLE EDITS: Many of the words they used were unfamiliar to me, and I figured I'd have to have a Y chromosome to really understand the excitement.-There shouldn't be a comma after and.
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Girls can fix cars too.
How the heck does a teenager know how to make fried chicken?
I've noticed something: there are no fat people or people with glasses in this book. At least there weren't any in Twilight, and I'm betting there won't be any here. How does THAT happen?
Please note: I've given up on the dash count. There are just too many and counting them all was taking too long. Just know that she abuses them. A lot.
I'm stil trying to figure out how Renee can be a big flake and obviously a bad displinarian and yet she teaches elementary school kids.

NEW MOON: Chapter 5-Cheater

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella buys motorcycles for some odd reason and takes them to Jacob to fix. That's about it. I really don't get the title of this chapter, I'll explain why after thoughts.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
We begin this chapter with Bella at work where we FINALLY get an idea of where she works: some sort of sporting goods/hiking gear store....huh? I cannot picture Bella demeaning herself by working at a sporting goods store nor having any interest in it because um...doesn't she hate stuff like hiking and whatnot? She's hardly qualified to work there...oh wait, Mike works there. Never mind. It's totally clear how she got the job now. Ten bucks says Bella told some sob story to her friends about needing cash and Mike pulled a few strings at his place because you know, he's still obsessed with Bella. I still think Meyer could have had her working at a bookstore or something, or a fast food place like all the other teens but that would probably be too demeaning and normal for her Sue, so instead she puts Bella in a place that seems illogical for her to be working at. Personally I think she decided to have Bella working there just so she could hear the exchange between the hikers about dangerous looking animals in the forests which in case you guys don't know is an epic forshadow.
Bella gets into her car and drives around and I think it's pretty clear here that Bella is depressed. I will say this, Meyer did get how a depressed person feels down pat. Unfortunately, Bella doesn't get help for this depression and the depression isn't even acknowledged so I ask you, what's the point? How do I know she's depressed? These lines:

I wished I could feel numb again, but I couldn't remember how I'd managed it before.

I curled over, pressing my face against the steering wheel and trying to breathe without lungs.
From New Moon, Chapter 5

Yeah...we have depression here folks. Actually, it's kind of overdone still, which seems to be Meyer's style, so there you go. Again, she does a good job of capturing the depression but she doesn't do anything with it. This could have been a great book about learning to deal with depression and learning to move past it and becoming a stronger person. But no. Meyer couldn't do that, that would require difficulty for her characters. Plus, you know a plot other then romance.
So Bella mopes some more (and cries some more) and suddenly sees a pair of old motorcycles for sales and decides that this must be fate, therefore she must have some. Yeah. On one hand, I can kind of see how Meyer came up with this idea. On the other hand it's kind of stupid. But whatever, Bella sees the bikes and decides she must have them. Because having one is apparently stupid and reckless and she wants to be stupid and reckless. Sigh...I am trying to ignore the fact that once more Bella is being a brat and am going to move on.
So Bella gets her bikes (and because it's Bella, she gets them for free) and she wonders about where to get them fix up. The local garage is out because the guy is way too expensive. Then she remembers the cute Jacob Black she flirted with in the first book and thinks "yeah, he'll do!". Random scene where she calls Charlie to get the Black's address. He offers to come and join her but she says no. Because you know, heaven forbid she spend time with her father. Ew.
So she goes to the Blacks (insert vivid description here) and oh, Jacob has gotten even cuter. Billy is also there but not for long, it immediately goes back to Jacob and Bella. Bella asks him to fix her bikes and, being a guy, he's all game for it. He refuses payment of course, so Bella trades him the extra bike and lessons because she can't ride motorcycles. Good thing she got two of them, isn't it? My mind (and probably many other readers) went to a dirty place at this line:

"Wait a sec-are you legal yet? When's your birthday?"
From New Moon, Chapter 5

No seriously, she asks him that and it's not at all about sex or drugs. I would commend Meyer for the cleverness if I didn't suspect the joke was totally lost on her. Jacob agrees but worries about parts which Bella tells him not to worry about. She'll just use her college fund. Again, great role model Meyer. Really. College is totally skippable girls if your boyfriend dumps you and you're heartbroken. More reason that I don't buy this Bella is intelligent crap. Anyway, chapter ends with Bella being thankful for Jacob, the end. Now you know why I'm confused about the title of the chapter. No where in here does she cheat. Even if it's a reference to her hanging out with Jacob it's stupid because she and Edward are not together anymore so it's NOT CHEATING. So chapter title=stupid.

WORD LIST: buoyant (second offense use for this word, she used it in Twilight).
POSSIBLE EDITS: Please change the chapter name, it makes no sense.
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: The Blacks house was vaguely familiar-How can it be familiar exactly? She's never been there right?
I recognized the symbol on the grille at least.-Um...I thought this girl didn't know anything about cars? How can she know what a car part is? Also, a grille refers to ventillation parts, not the front of a vehicle where the symbol of VWs are usually found.
Embry? Seriously Meyer? Where do you find these names?

NEW MOON: Chapter 4-Waking Up

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Charlie has enough and lays down the law for Bella: shape up or you're going to live with your mother. IN THE SUNSHINE. Wow, that's a punishment? Me I'd love to live in Florida, but whatever. It works...sort of.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
So the chapter opens with a pretty good opening paragraph actually. An over dramatic paragraph, but then this whole series is overdramatic, so that's kind of a moot point. Anyway, Charlie has finally had enough of Bella's moping (wow, four months later...he sure has patience) and is being a good parent and of course, Bella takes offense to this. How dare Charlie act like a parent and WORRY when she has been perfect? I personally applaud Charlie. However, I have to shake my head because Meyer once again screws what could be a great moment up. First, she screws it up with Bella herself. Second, she pretty much says that Edward leaving Bella was the same as Renee leaving her dad. Um...NO.
Charlie and Renee were MARRIED with a CHILD. He was devoted to her (and presumingly Bella as well) and she pretty much said "see you loser" and left. All because she didn't like the town he lived in...and is pretty much a flake. Edward and Bella were NOT married, they haven't even been dating for over a year! He didn't take their non existant child and it's pretty obvious that he left for her own damn good so it's obvious he still has feelings for her. It is in NO WAY the same situation as Charlie and Renee.
However, I do agree that Bella should see a shrink, but not for the break up but because she has a LOT of issues such as dependancy, selfishness, and a plethora of other things that would give a shrink a field day. But of course, Bella couldn't possibly see a shrink (that would imply she's not perfect) and so instead lies to her dad and says she does have plans. Great message you're sending teenage girls here Meyer. Girls when your parents are worried about you for a good reason, instead of owning up and facing the fact that you have problems, lie and avoid the situation instead.
So we see Bella go to school, insert description of daily activities here (how Animal Farm is considered an easy subject matter, I don't know, but whatever) and oh look, there's Mike. She acts like a jerk as usual (and there is STILL no word on what it is Bella actually DOES cause you know, working is so MUNDANE) and then Bella spots Jessica. I have to say this line pisses me off:

I knew I had offended her with my antisocial behaviorc and she was sulking.
From New Moon, chapter 4

Excuse me, Miss Swan but when you ignore somebody for over a few months for no good reason, and when they didn't do anything to deserve that behavior, YEAH, they ARE going to take offense. It is not sulking, it is being annoyed by having a friend who treats you like crap. Which frankly you do. I don't understand why Jessica gives her the time of day (I say she's a decent person because I would have taken one look at her and said, go find someone else since I'm not good enough for you) but she does. They make plans to go to the movies.
More boring description of her day and oh look they're leaving! Bella turns on rap of all things, and because once again there is apparently nothing more that we girls talk about, they talk about boys. Specifically the nerds who have the audacity to ask Jessica out. Though at least she's decent enough to accept an invitation, even if it's out of pity and she gossips about it later. It's still better then how Bella treated then...only by a margin though. Oh, and for those keeping track, another sexist moment here and an earlier one because Bella thought she was perfect for not occasionally serving leftovers (cause you know, that's a crime and implies a bad housewife).
They get to the theatre and Bella is annoyed because a young couple has the nerve to be lovey dovey in public and don't understand her pain. Then they go into the movie and it's a zombie movie...yeah. She's further annoyed when the movie has the nerve t have a romance scene and of course, narcissist that she is, draws parallels between the movie and herself.
So they leave the theatre and it's dark and scary, and oh look there's scary loitering guys outside the bar who may or may not have been the ones who almost didn't attack her in the last book. Genius that Bella is, she goes towards them. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Dumbest. Heroine. Ever. But as she's walking towards them an amazing thing happens: She hears Edward's lovely voice telling her what I and every reader are thinking: What are you doing, you dumbass?
I also must say, for a girl hearing voices in her head that aren't there, she manages to think quite rationally about it. Most people who hear voices in their head tend to freak out. Or so I've heard. But this IS Bella, so naturally she would behave calmly when hearing a voice in her head.
But anyway, guys don't turn out to be the same ones from before and she goes back to Jessica who rightfully calls her an idiot. Bella of course thinks she's just offended now and is not cooperating with Bella. Which means she's not any fun now. Awkward rest of the evening and Bella goes home and nice friend that she is:

I'd forgotten her by the time I was inside.
From New Moon, Chapter 4

Nice. She lies to Charlie again (really, great role model here folks)and in the peak of her emoness Bella thinks that she feels pain and realizes this makes her feel alive. Brother.

WORD LIST: None for this chapter! Go Meyer!
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Just Bella herself and the fact that everyone is acting like she's gone through this super horrible tragic thing when all that happened is that her boyfriend dumped her. Do you know how many high schoolers get dumped per day? Who also probably got dumped for way more horrible reasons then their boyfriend wanting to protect them? You don't see those high schoolers going into a funk for four months. A month, maybe. But four?