BREAKING DAWN: Chapter 26-Shiny

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Charlie leaves and there is much talk about how awesome Bella is now that she's a vampire. Literally, THAT'S IT.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
Open with a somewhat hypocritical conversation with Charlie where they both agree Renee is too weak to know this stuff (lovely). Don't get me started on how apparently Renesmee's middle name is Carlie. Carlisle and Charlie combined. Making her full name Renesmee Carlie Cullen. WORST. NAME. EVER. Then he leaves and Bella goes on and on about how wonderful this is. I for one however, don't think it's wonderful. I will explain further.
A good story and character actually usually has to SACRIFICE something. What does Bella sacrifice? NOTHING. Okay, her humanity. Um...she never cared about being human. She felt humans were weak and inferior to vampires so this actually is not much of a sacrifice. Her mother maybe? I think it's pretty obvious by now her mother was never important (and neither was her father for that matter as she had no problem giving him up). So literally Bella has gained everything and sacrificed nothing in return. So why am I supposed to root for her? She didn't have to work hard for her happily ever after, she didn't have to lose any friends (Angela and company were not Bella's friends), she got the love of her life and she gets to keep her best friend around and she didn't have to sacrifice anything whatsoever in order to get her happily ever after. That I think is the main problem with this series. No effort on the part of the heroine and yet she still manages to get her happily ever after. Hell, Disney Princesses of old (Snow White, Cinderella etc.) worked harder then Bella did! It's ridiculous and about fifty percent of why the Twilight series is bad.
Anyway after Charlie leaves and Bella gloats about getting everything she wants suddenly Edward is all "lets have Emmett and Bella arm wrestle!". Oh yay, more Bella is a super speshul vampire scenes. UGH. Naturally she wins (it's Bella, of COURSE she's going to win). More gag worthy scenes of how awesome Bella (and her daughter) is. ENOUGH ALREADY.
But no, we get more and then Bella goes on about how amazing this is and how as a human she was never really good at anything. Um, excuse me but BULL SHIT. She was good at school (without heavy studying), she was good at cooking, she was somehow plain yet managed to attract tons of guys, and literally her only flaw was that she was clumsy but even her clumsiness was adorable. So excuse me if I don't buy this for a second. For godsakes, she was a teenager who somehow managed to learn to make FRIED CHICKEN. That wasn't Shake and Bake. Lets not forget how well she knew the classics either and thus was bored in English class. Stop trying to make me sympathize with Bella Meyer, it's not working.
The pointless chapter ends with Bella gushing about how awesome she is now that she was a vampire. GAG ME.

WORD LIST:
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: "I know. I don't want to freak her out. Better to protect her. This stuff isn't for the fainthearted."-Why hello pot, is that you calling the kettle black? I believe so. Hypocrite, thy name is Bella Swan.
I remembered how it felt, that first uncomfortable immersion in fantasy-the sensation that everything would disappear in the light of the rising sun.-Um...that's funny, as I recall Bella you actually had no problem with vampires existing. You wanted to be one of them after a week of knowing they exist. I smell BS.