CHAPTER SUMMARY: Edward and Bella have sexy times, talk about the Volturi, and get the Denali clan on their side.
NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
MORE of Bella angsting/whining again. Geez louise, Meyer. COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW ALREADY. Apparently the Volturi aren't coming for a month....huh? Since when was this decided/known? Why would it take them a month to get to America? HUMANS get here faster then that. That's just...ridiculous.
After her angsting, Bella puts Mary Sue baby to bed and her Gary Stu husband shows up. Sexy times are then had. UGH. Normally I am not this prudish (I wrote slash fanfiction for awhile, okay?) but I just literally do not want to hear about Bella and Edward's sexy times. It does nothing for me, mostly because I hate the two people involved anyway. Plus Meyer's romantic scenes put romance novels to absolute shame. Nickolas Sparks probably would take a look at this writing and go "really?".
It doesn't help that sexy times pretty much means Bella gushing on and on about how hot and wonderful and passionate Edward is. SNORE. Thankfully, it doesn't last long and Meyer as usual chickens out on the actual sex part and cuts to next morning when they start to talk about their plans again.
I was however mildly surprised when Bella asked to learn how to fight. Edward isn't comfortable with this (women fighting! NO! That brings my manlyness into question!) but then lets her. I personally think Bella shouldn't have to ask her husband for permission on how to defend herself but I guess that's just me. Then she asks about weaknesses and we get a info dump on the Volturi via Edward.
I still find all these gifts that Meyer comes up with a tad ridiculous and I'm sorry if these gifts are so rare, then WHY DOES ALMOST EVERYONE HAVE THEM? Talk turns to Eleazer (one of the Denali clan for those who have forgotten) who apparently used to be a Volturi. Go figure.
Tanya and co. show up then (speeding in a car too, this appears to be a vampire thing). They meet Renesmee and freak out (I'm still fuzzy on what exactly is so horrible about a half human/half vampire child...anyone?) but then deux es machina baby makes everything okay by showing them what's been going on. She wins them over and they decide to help. Good lord this is boring.
WORD LIST: petulant, skittered,
GENERAL ANNOYANCES:
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