Monday, October 25, 2010

BREAKING DAWN: Chapter 16-Too-Much-Information Alert

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Boring is briefly interupting with sexist chat between Leah and Jacob and the series gets more ridiculous if that's possible.

COMMENTARY/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
The chapter opens up with Leah and Jacob going on patrol. Now actually there is some decent stuff going on here. I do find the conflict with Jacob and Seth and Leah a slightly interesting. But of course that's all quickly turned into rage inducing once Seth leaves. Because it then turns sexist. Yes, even more sexist then before.
See, first Leah talks with Jacob about Sam and it actually is good at first, even if I still find that apparently Leah shouldn't have expected any kindness simply because she wasn't handling her rough situation well. Then Leah comments that she understands where Roselie is coming from and the conversation turns to babies. See, turns out Leah can't have kids because she's a werewolf. Now this part is not the rage inducing part. What's rage inducing is apparently Leah (aka Meyer speaking for Leah) thinks that just because she can't have kids that means there's something "wrong" with her. That's she's not a woman. No. I'm serious. Here's a telling quote if you don't believe me:
Of course I remembered Leah's panic that first month after she joined the pack-and I remembered cringing away from it just like everyong else. Because she couldn't be pregnant-not unless there was some really freaky religious immaculate crap goin on. She hadn't been with anyone since Sam. And then, when the weeks dragged on and nothing turned into more nothing, she'd realized that her body wasn't following the normal patterns anymore. The horror-what was she now? Had her body changed because she'd become a werewolf? Or had she become a werewolf because her body was wrong? The only female werewolf in the history of forever. Was that because she was as female as she should be?
From Breaking Dawn, Chapter 16

WHAT. THE. HELL?
Excuse me, Meyer but please do not tell me you are trying to say what I'm pretty sure you're trying to say here. Please do not tell me you honestly think that a woman's worth is based solely on her being able to have children. That if she can't have children that means she's not a true woman. Just please tell me you are NOT THAT IGNORANT or SEXIST. For godsakes, I thought this sort of thinking went out the window DECADES ago. Apparently not. To the young impressionable girls reading this crap: DO NOT BUY IT. It is crap. A woman's worth is not solely tied up in her ability to have kids. You know who likely came up with that theory? MEN. Men who wanted to blame women for the fact that THEY couldn't have kids because there was something wrong with THEIR sperm. God, just when I think this series can't get anymore horrible.
Then there's the fact that she's all but implying that you are less of a woman if you can't or don't have kids. So me and several other women I know are apparently not women because we are a) not married, and b) don't have kids (and in my case not sure if I even WANT kids). All those women who can't have kids due to difficulties with in their bodies and probably had to deal with emotional stuff for it? You can't have kids because it means you're not a "real" woman. God, this is such BS. I can't believe a publisher/editor left this in here and didn't look at her in disgust. My only explanation is that only one or two other people actually read through it and those few people were her "yes maam" people who bow to her every whim and therefore didn't call her on this blatant sexism. UGH.
The chapter continues to get more horrible. Jacob makes more disgusting jokes at Roselie's expense. Then goes to see Bella and then suddenly oh look, Edward can hear the babies thoughts now! It what is more obvious pro-life propaganda, he hears the baby's thoughts and falls in instant and utter love. He is now completely on Bella's side and chapter ends with him kicking Jacob out of the house. Give me a break. The baby is inside Bella's womb. They wouldn't be having any thoughts beyond "hungry". Once again, Meyer proves she slept through biology class.

WORD LIST: none for this chapter
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: SEXISM.
For a second I thought she was making a jok that was in very poor taste.-EXCUSE ME? You're worried about Leah making a joke in poor taste? You? The guy who makes dumb blonde jokes at the expense of Roselie and excuse it because you think she's a bitch? Hypocrite, thy name is Jacob Black.
None of us wanted to deal with that breakdown. Obviously, it wasn't like we could empathize.-So just because you couldn't empathize that's supposed to exuse you guys for being utter asses to her? I don't think so. This also disputes your claim a chapter or two ago where you said you did actually try to deal with Leah because it's very obvious from this and evidence in other books that you didn't.

Friday, October 15, 2010

BREAKING DAWN: Chapter 15-TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Title pretty much sums up this chapter. Yes, believe it or not, we have ANOTHER chapter with NOTHING HAPPENING.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
I'll spare you my rants on what a waste of paper these pointless chapters are. Here's a few bullet lines on what goes on:
-Wee little chat with Seth about patrol and sets Jacob off on angsting.
-Jacob worries about Bella yet again.
-ANOTHER Bella is so selfless! scene. Ugh.
-More bashing of Roselie by Jacob that we're supposed to find funny. I fail to see why I should find him aiming a doggie bowl at her head and Edward letting him funny.
-MORE worrying about Bella Sue and the she's so selfless junk.
-MORE pointless talk about how Bella is being so selfless with Charlie (even though she never cared about his feelings before so I don't buy it), and Meyer tries to make us believe that she did do some world building by giving us old stories that make no sense.
That's it. Please note, I was trying to be generous as well. But literally this chapter is pointless and more recycled scenes that don't add anything to the "plot" or book.

WORD LIST: habitation
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: More horrible treatment of Roselie that I'm apparently supposed to find funny.
BORING.

BREAKING DAWN: Chapter 14-You Know Things Are Bad When You Feel Guilty For Being Rude to Vampires

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Um...once more NOTHING HAPPENS. Unless you count Jacob being an ass to Roselie yet again.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
This is going to be a pretty short commentary because frankly nothing happened. Twenty pages of Jacob babbling on and arguing back and forth with various people, and Meyer making sure we understand that we are not supposed to like Roselie and that Bella is utterly selfless. Same old, same old, blah, blah MOVE ON ALREADY.
Seriously, if I were a publisher and this book got past my desk into stores, I'd be horrible embarressed by it. Because you can't tell me this is a book to be proud of. It's crap. Lots of bad wording, pointless scenes over and over again, and frankly horrible characters. I mean the first three were bad, don't get me wrong, but at least you got the feeling that Meyer was at least TRYING. Here, it's like she thought "well, this is going to make gobs of money anwyway and my fans will love anything I write so I'm not even going to bother trying to make it good." Don't even try and tell me she didn't think that, or something very similar. It's a horrible attitude to have as well. If you want an excellent example of how to end a popular series, look at Harry Potter and Hunger Games.
Now, I know a lot of readers complained about the last books of these series, but even if you maybe weren't happy with the end, they were still very good. In Deathly Hallows, Rowling had excitement and character developement. Was some of it a tad long? Sure, but even in the stuff that was long, she revealed things like character developement, world building, and even what was going on in the other side. I was never outright bored with it like I am with this ridiculous book.
Then there's Mockingjay. I know a lot people likewise didn't like how she handled the love triangle but it was still excellent. I personally never cared about the romance I cared about the war and Collins was not afraid to off popular characters (likewise with Rowling in HP) and she still made it interesting.
I get NONE of that from this boring book. If I were a Twihard at this point I'd be saying to myself "I waited a year for THIS?!" and Meyer wonders why fans weren't happy with her after it ended?
My other rant from this chapter is Jacob's treatment of Roselie and how apparently I'm supposed to find this funny. He is downright insulting to her. Look, I'm no fan of Roselie, but I'm no fan of Jacob's either. He has no right to tell dumb blonde jokes to her face and treat her the way he does. I also find it telling that most of the blonde girls in this series are treated like their bitches. For instance, Bella's unreasonable hatred of Lauren who just simply has the audicity to not like her automatically. Although it starts to make sense when you go to Meyer's website and look it up. She apparently dislikes blondes. I personally find it dumb to dislike people based on hair color alone but this is Meyer we're talking about so I'm not totally surprised and in further proof that these "characters" are really just mouthpieces for Meyer to fullfill her wishes, they don't like blondes either and get away with treating them horribly.
Other then the stupid blond joke and more of "Bella's so selfless!" there really isn't anything else to comment on other then, once again, it's BORING. There's also a scene with Alice that is more foreshadow about Jacob and the baby.

WORD LIST: condesation
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: The treatment of blonde girls in this series
Edward sat at the other end of the couch with Bella's burrito'ed feet in his lap.-Yes, this is seriously in here. Bad description Meyer and burrito'ed isn't a word. This made me think that her feet had somehow been made into burritos or something.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

BREAKING DAWN: Chapter 13-Good Thing I've Got a Strong Stomach

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Bella drinks blood and then there's talking amongst the pack. Amen.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
Remember how I thought maybe the blood thing would actually be interesting? I take it back. It's just as boring as the rest of this pointless book. In the beginning Jacob finally gains some insight into what Leah must be feeling by watching Bella and Edward:
I knew what it was like for Leah, having to see that all the time. Having to hear it in Sam's head. Of course we all felt bad for her, we weren't monsters-in that sense, anyway. But I guess we blamed her for how she handled it. Lashing out at everyone, trying to make us all as miserable as she was.
From Breaking Dawn, Chapter 13

I want to call a big bullshit on Jacob. You say you felt bad for her? That's funny, this is the first instance I've seen you actually empathize with her situation. Also, if the pack actually did feel bad for her, they certainly didn't show it. Need proof? See all the previous chapters of Breaking Dawn and Eclipse that have Leah in it. She's demonized and made out to be a big bitch and not one of you (Bella or Jacob or the pack or even her own BROTHER) expressed sypathy for her situation.
Then there's the fact that her lashing out is actually very reasonable. Look at her sitaution for a minute, as hard as I know this is for you selfish characters. First, the guy she loves suddenly dumps her and says "Oh yeah I'm in love with your cousin, who is also your best friend! But I can't help it, it's imprinting." Assuming Sam even took the time to explain the imprinting thing to her. I'm betting he didn't. Then your supposed best friend/cousin decides to not care one bit about your feelings and not only date him and have big wedding, she invites you to the wedding and everyone expects you to just suck it up and be happy for them.
Then you suddenly start feeling wierd and start turning into a wolf and probably no one in La Push helped you through it because you're female, why on earth would you be a wolf? Then when they do figure out you're a werewolf you're treated like an unnatural being because women aren't supposed to be wolves. If that isn't bad enough, the guy who dumped you is now your leader and you not only have to deal with him but hear his thoughts, most of which have to do with the girl he dumped you for. Plus you have to put up with a bunch of guys who very obviously don't think you belong there and treat you like crap. Yet, Jacob thinks she handled this poorly? I personally think she handled it as well as anyone could. But of course, she's not Bella therefore she's not perfect, therefore she's treated like SHE'S the problem. Have I mentioned I hate this series?
To top it off, Bella is shocked about Leah being there going "but she hates us!". Okay, yeah Leah has shown dislike but where did we get the impression she hated Bella? THEY'VE NEVER INTERACTED BEFORE. I'm tired of Meyer telling us but not showing us and not giving us good reasons for the things she's telling us.
So Roselie and Carlisle bring Bella blood in a sippy cup and the girl who in the first book fainted at one little drop of blood not only says it smells good but drinks it down with no problem. Consistancy with character once again ignored for Meyer's convenience. Then we have another scene meant to show us how selfless Bella is (she isn't) and then wolves from Sam's pack show up to discuss things with Jacob. This is not as exciting as it sounds.
Basically Jacob does a lot of talking with the three wolves that Sam set out in the hopes to negotiate. He sends Jared, Quil, and Collins. For those who have no clue who Jared and Collins are, they are new members who must have joined up recently but they're so unimportant Meyer never takes the time to describe them to us or give us any info on them. Lovely.
Sam tries to lure Leah and Seth back and it naturally doesn't work. Once again, Leah is belittled during this. Why Jared and the pack think that will work I don't know but considering their douchebag behavior in the past I'm not surprised. So long boring conversation short, the three of them don't return and chapter ends with them leaving. Once again, nothing happens and I'm bored. God what a waste of money and paper this book is.

WORD LIST: lank, whir
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Roselie darted downstairs after a second, flying through the room like a sharp breeze.-How can a breeze be sharp?
I mumbled in a weak rim-shot impression.-Huh? I don't get this. What's a rim-shot impression? Anyone?
The faint, soundless shimmer in the air.-Shimmer never makes sound. This is redundant and a fragment sentance.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

BREAKING DAWN: Chapter 12-Some People Just Don't Grasp the Concept of "Unwelcome"

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Leah shows up and is treated like she's a horrible person, Meyer tries to use Carlisle to show that all of this is actually quite scientific and logical (it isn't), they decide to feed the demon baby blood.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/REACTIONS:
You know, I am getting very tired of this demonization of Leah. Particularly as it makes no sense to me. Really, why does Jacob dislike her to begin with? Why does she dislike Bella to begin with? No genuine reason is given and the ones that are given make all the characters look extremely petty. So really the only conclusion I can draw is that it's actually MEYER who doesn't like Leah and so makes her the bad guy in all the characters head so the readers know we aren't supposed to like her either. Except I actually think for myself and therefore I like Leah. She's actually the only tolerable character in this stupid series for me.
The chapter opens with Leah showing up and Jacob is pretty much a childish asshole to her. You would think he would welcome the help but no, she's such an evil woman therefore he doesn't want her there. She doesn't want to be there either but due to Meyer's nonsensical compulsion thing she HAS to belong to a pack of some sort and Jacob is apparently the lesser of two evils. Please note, Meyer makes sure to say that she wasn't strong enough to break off and go it alone. Oh no, a strong female character able to lead her own pack? Can't have that. So no, she has to follow Jacob instead (who I personally see as weaker then Leah but somehow HE'S able to break off the compulsion to follow but you know, he's a man therefore it's okay for him).
So basically the first couple of pages are Jacob being an ass. It's very annoying. Especially when he's practically telling Leah what Seth feels about the situation and I'm sorry but who gave him the right to a) Tell personal feelings like that to his sister, and b) How does he even know that Seth feels that way? Being Alpha doesn't give you the right to speak for someone eles's feelings Jacob. Plus, even after figuring out Leah's feelings on the matter with Sam he still feels no sympathy for her or understands where she's coming from. In fact it almost feels like he sympathizes with SAM more because he had to put up with her. Tell me Team Jacob fans, why am I supposed to prefer him over Edward again? Because he's frankly turning into just as much of a sexist douchebag as Edward is.
Eventually he reluctantly agrees to let Leah stay (my how big of him) and then he goes to the house and ends up talking to Carlisle. What follows is more of Meyer's pitiful attempts to make this series scientific. Unfortunately all she ends up doing is making it more obvious that she did no research whatsoever and is literally making this up as she goes. I don't care how many chromosomes a person does or doesn't have, Meyer. When they are DIFFERENT SPECIES they CAN NOT PROCREATE so it's STILL impossible. Stop backing yourself into a corner and just say it's magic. Becausse this science talk is not helping you.
Then Edward and Jacob come up with a way to help Bella get better. Feed her fetus blood, therefore making Bella drink blood. I'm still confused about why exactly none of these guys seem to know what the fetus will be. Gee, Edward's a vampire and if he created it and it needs blood...I'm going to guess it's a vampire? Really, how stupid are you people? Plus, why are we so convinced it's going to be a guy?
Roselie is all for it, and so is Bella of course (she's so selfless remember, never mind that thing about her NOT BEING ABLE TO STAND THE SIGHT OF BLOOD). I also must say this whole thing reeks of more Pro-Life propaganda. I can practically hear Meyer going: "see, needs of the mother will be met when you meet the needs of the baby! That whole arguement is just sillyness!". Again, I have no problem with people who are Pro-Life. I just wish Meyer didn't cram such an obvious agenda into this in such an unsubtle and frankly ridiculous way.
Chapter ends with them deciding to feed Bella human blood to feed the fetus so she'll be okay. Hmm...sounds potentially icky. Maybe there's hope for this book after all.

WORD LIST: intravenously
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: Turn around before I rip out one of your hamstrings.-Why would you threaten someone with this? Most people don't even know what hamstrings are. Just say leg like a normal person.
Moving whisper-quiet as only a vampire could.-What the hell does whisper-quiet mean? Just say he moved quietly.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

BREAKING DAWN: Chapter 11-The Two Things at the Top of My Things-I-Never-Want-To-Do List

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Jacob breaks off from the pack with Seth and goes to help the Cullens. Pretty much it.

NOTES/THOUGHTS/COMMENTARY:
Well, as I predicted Jacob doesn't follow Sam's orders. But instead of challenging Sam he breaks off from the pack and forms his own with Seth...or something. I don't honestly understand this sudden compulsion thing Meyer is talking about. It was never once mentioned in the other books from what I remember but from the way it's described it's like the pack members have no choice but to follow the alpha, in this case Sam, even if they don't agree with the decisions being made. Boy, Meyer is really big on taking away people's free will isn't she? Girls don't have a choice but to love the guy who imprinted on them (and they likewise have no choice but to love her), Bella has no choice but to love Edward (according to her anyway), and now even the pack members don't really have a choice but to follow Sam even if they don't want to. Because I can bet Leah would love to break off from the pack considering the way they all treat her. But we can't have that because she's female so instead Jacob somehow magically is able to overcome pack compulsion and stands up to Sam.
I know this all sounds exciting and I too was actually going "yay, finally something going on!" but it actually turns out to be quite boring. Jacob basically lectures Sam and is all "oh no, I won't fight you that's wrong" and then runs off to join the Cullens, Seth of course joins Jacob. Once again, possible excitement/conflict is avoided in favor of dragging out the story. Sigh.
Jacob and Seth meet up with the Cullens and explain that the pack is planning an attack. The rest of the chapter is basically all of them waiting for the attack. Oh, and Bella has gotten worse. That's it. Even the one exciting thing going on in this book is boring and utterly predictable. Sorry this one is so short but literally this is all that happens so I don't have much to talk about/rant about other then what I've been complaining of since the beginning: this is absurd and boring and doesn't make much sense and to top it off is poorly written.

WORD LIST: none
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: conflict avoided yet again.

Friday, October 1, 2010

BREAKING DAWN: Chapter 10-Why Didn't I Just Walk Away? Oh Right, Because I'm An Idiot.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Another boring chapter where Jacob tries to talk sense into Bella (it doesn't work) and then he meets the pack and the pack decides to attack the Cullens because apparently a BABY is pure evil and must be killed.

REACTIONS/THOUGHTS/NOTES:
First part of this super angsty chapter is mostly Jacob thinking. While I am enjoying Jacob's point of view ten times more then Bella's (not hard), I still find this book utterly ridiculous. In fact, Meyer has Jacob describe the shenanigans going on perfectly:
Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom.
From Breaking Dawn, Chapter 10

Wow. Even the author is admitting this is all ridiculous (though she probably doesn't realizing she's point it out, she probably thinks she's making a clever joke). As Jacob's thoughts advance, he also describes Bella perfectly too:
The girl was a classic martyr. She'd totally been born in the wrong century.
From Breaking Dawn, Chapter 10

See? SEE? I'm not just imagining this. I'd be thrilled about this except NO ONE DOES ANYTHING ABOUT THIS. Being a Martyr in the Twilight world is practically a GOOD thing in this warped universe Meyer has created. Also, I don't think Bella was born in the wrong century because she's a martyr. I think she was born in the wrong century due to her prehistoric attitudes/views on how women should be, her sexist/anti-feminist point of view, and many other things.
The Cullens leave Bella and Jacob alone to talk and there's more painful awkward dialogue. But Meyer tries to lighten things up by bad jokes. There's actually a Simpsons reference (and reference to technology!) made by Bella who doesn't strike me as the type to sit down and watch the Simpsons (I mean this girl doesn't read books written after the eighteen hundreds, yet she's not snooty enough to watch The Simpsons which, lets face it, is a pretty dumb show). But as all things in Twilight do, the quick bouts of humor fades away to buckets of angst.
Jacob tries to tell Bella she's being dumb about this. Bella for some reason brings up imprinting like she actually knows anything about how Jacob will feel when it happens (and it's an obvious unsubtle foreshadow AGAIN) and naturally that ticks Jacob off. More angst follows. We learn that Bella plans to survive by becoming a vampire after the birth of the demon spawn-opps, I mean baby. During Bella's speech there's many Christian/Mormon propaganda going. I caught it and I haven't been to a church service since I was like nine, THAT'S how unsubtle this all is.
Now during angsty talk, Jacob tells Bella about Edwards messed up plan and instead of being disgusted by it like every female in their right mind would be, she practically goes "oh, what a silly man. I can't believe how much he loves me, willing to do something like that" and then nothing more. Hell, she's practically more awed by Edward then she already was.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT. THE. HELL??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing more? No anger over the fact that Edward practically pimped Bella out to Jacob (who agreed) without her permission? After the last two chapters I don't know why I'm so surprised about this but I am. I am also further disgusted with this series and I didn't think my opinion could sink any lower after the last chapter. Congratulations Meyer, you proved me wrong.
In other words, all this angsty talk with Bella accomplishes nothing. She still plans on having the baby and then Jacob goes to leave and face his pack. They learn about Bella's pregnancy through his thoughts and are disgusted by it (why, I have no clue, considering they're the ones who imprint on people with no choice on the matter but whatever right?). So now Sam and the pack are all for attacking the Cullens and now Jacob is upset by this (as well as Seth for some reason). There is further demonization of Leah and Jacob goes to attack her and is stopped by the pack.
But does Sam reprimend Jacob for attacking one of his own? No. He chastises Leah, nothing is said to Jacob on the matter. But because Leah is the resident bitch, we have to be mean to her even though she technically was only speaking the truth.
Jacob is now suddenly very reluctant to attack the Cullens and I'm confused. A chapter ago HE WAS PLANNING ON DOING THE SAME THING yet now all of a sudden he's, no this is wrong!
But Meyer needed Jacob to be the good guy in this so instead of actually going through a crazy little thing called character developement, she has him suddenly change his entire way of thinking on the situation with now explanation for why. Sloppy writing as usual.
The chapter ends with Sam forcing Jacob to follow his orders to attack the Cullens in the morning. Let me guess: Jacob and Seth not only find away to stop it, Jacob eventually challenges Sam and becomes Leader of the pack. The way Meyer writes, this is totally what's going to happen, or something along these lines. She doesn't exactly think outside the box, you know?

WORD LIST: sallow
GENERAL ANNOYANCES: whole freaking book is absurd